


Reset Theory: No More Saves

by DreamWalker84



Series: Reset Theory [2]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut?, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Implied Torture, Kidnapping, Magic, Memory Loss, Reader Is Not MC, Reader-Insert, Sort Of, Threats of Violence, Violence, does not include V's route, i am bad at tagging, tags to be added later, what if everyone lived?, wizard makes another cameo eventually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-01-15 10:49:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 37,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12319527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamWalker84/pseuds/DreamWalker84
Summary: **Please read the first part of this series, or this will make very little sense!**I wake up in a strange room, and quickly find myself surrounded by people known as the RFA.The problem is...I don't remember why I'm here, and who they are.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the continuation of my short story Reset Theory. Updates will be sporadic but I do plan on working on it.

Beep…beep…beep…beep…

Scent of saline.

Whir of a…respirator?

Where am I?

I can’t feel anything…Am I dead?

Everything is so…cloudy. I can’t think. I can barely remember to finish a single thought.

“NURSE!”

The voice would have made me jump, if I could have. Suddenly a door slid open, and a couple pairs of footsteps come close to me. I can’t place the voices; my brain cannot even place a gender on the voices around me. I can hear the rustle of sheets and stiff uniforms.

“She moved, her hand, it moved!” the first voice said. Focus, focus on that voice. “It was just a little, but—“

“It is not unheard of for people in a coma to have involuntary twitches, especially in the extremities…” A steady, low voice tells her.

I’m in a coma? But I hear you.

“There! It happened again!” the first voice got close. “I know she’s awake, doctor. Can’t you just ease up on the medication a little?” The voice was feminine, yes, it was a woman. But I cannot remember…

“We will put her on observation, and I’ll order some tests for brain function,” the other voice—distinctly male—answered calmly. “I wouldn’t hold my breath though. Her injuries were severe, and she was legally dead for some time…”

“I understand. I’ll call Mr. Han and confer with him.” The woman said, calming down. “Thank you, doctor.”

The sound of the sliding door abruptly stops the conversation. There is a brief rustle of what I could assume was a bag or purse, and the woman sighed. “This is Assistant Jaehee Kang, please put me through to Mr. Han.”

Jaehee…Mr. Han?

“…yes sir. Yes. I understand…I’ll tell him to go ahead with it.”

The numbness of my head is starting to ease up. It feels like I am waking up way too slowly. I still feel like a mass of thoughts in the dark. I cannot even open my eyes…

“Thank you, yes, I’ll have the paperwork done tonight…What? Another cat hotel idea? Mr. Han…I—“

I listen to her voice. It is pleasant. I wonder who she is. Do I know her?

More importantly, does she know who I am?

I am not sure I remember anymore. The more I think about it, the less I remember. There was something…about a phone?

“I’ll let the others know right away. Yes, thank you, Mr. Han.” The woman says, sounding happy. “Have a pleasant evening. I’ll let you know if anything changes.” I am in a hospital, and this woman is looking after me. I wish I could see her face, because I cannot remember her voice. “She is regularly moving her hands. The doctor claims it is ‘involuntary movement’ but I just…I have a feeling it is more than that. There, she just moved again. I see…alright. Thank you, I’ll ask for the other doctor immediately…”

It is so exhausting, laying here, struggling with my own mind. I don’t hear her hang up the phone. There is a quiet sound of a seat cushion depressing, and I think I feel a cool sensation in…my hand?

“We have good news; Mr. Han has asked a specialist to come see you.” The woman—Jaehee—tells me. She sounds happy. “We’ll have you awake in no time.”

Good. That is good, right?

I drift to sleep, focusing on that first feeling. It goes from cool to warm, like she is holding my hand, and the skin was cool, but warms under my hand.

~~

There is a squeaky wheel on my bed.

It creaks and squeals as we turn corners. “Return her to her room in ICU. Inform Mr. Han of the results immediately.” Another, deeper voice sounds. “And send for Assistant Lang from the waiting room, please.”

I must have been in the lab. The sound of the doctor’s voice, and the quiet replies of the nurses in attendance wake me the rest of the way. I am barely aware of my surroundings, listening with the most clarity I had felt thus far. I am returned to a quiet place, and over hear the nurses talking to each other as they adjust the equipment.

“I don’t understand why she gets such special treatment. That doctor isn’t even a part of this hospital!” an older woman huffs.

“It was a special request, from the Director of C&R,” a second woman’s voice answers. “With his money, he can make anything happen.”

“Still! Why do we have to listen to this pompous peacock of a doc…”

“She’s getting transferred as soon as the tests come back, and she’ll be out of our hair.”

My head is hurting. It is more of an uncomfortable throb, like a hangover—or dehydration headache. My feet are cold, and…am I hungry? I should be hungry.

The room is too quiet, and I am left to my own thoughts. It doesn’t take long for me to ask a very important question: Who am I? Everyone seems to know a little about me; they recognize me in some form, but…

“…yes, the doctor was just here…” I hear Jaehee again, with the slide of the door. How long had it been? “Yes, I understand, I’ll sign her paperwork to have her transferred. Yes sir. Thank you.”

Transferred…At least Jaehee and this…Mr. Han seem to care about me. I’ll be safe. Maybe they can tell me what happened.

“It is a good day,” Jaehee tells me, coming close to my head. I feel something…perhaps the closest I can come up with is she is brushing hair from my face. “The tests confirm it, you’ll be weaned off of the medications soon, and we’ll be taking you to a private facility to recover. Mr. Han has arranged for the best doctors in the country.”

I see.

“Don’t worry about a thing. The RFA has decided that we will do what we can to help you.”

The RFA?

Who, or what, is that? Do I know them?

“I can’t wait until you wake up…I have so many questions.” Jaehee says. “So do the others. I am certain it will be very chaotic at first. I know Zen has already told me he is planning on coming by as soon as practice is done. Luciel said he is already tapped into the security cameras and watches you constantly, just in case.” She sits nearby again. “V has been very adamant about speaking to you first—to thank you—and I imagine that Luciel will be second, since you saved his brother…”

Saved…his brother?

My head stings with the effort to remember these memories. It is all for naught, as the struggle leaves me extremely tired.

“Don’t worry, everyone is looking forward to seeing you. It is important that you get your health back, and Mr. Han stresses that you will be cared for by the best. We all are grateful to you, and…well, we all have questions.”

The warmth of her words does not fail to reach me. I just wish I could look at her! I just wish I knew who she was! These people—the RFA—I suppose, truly care about me.

“Don’t cry, really! We are just so happy you are alive! There was a while there…we weren’t certain…” Jaehee sounds concerned. “But that is the past, now. Right now, focus on recovery. It is a shame we cannot pass Zen’s supernatural healing ability to you…”

I hear her shuffle around the room for a while, and the tap of keys on a keyboard. The soft sounds lull me into sleep again.

~~

“…No. I have seen no evidence of MC since the…event.” A young man says. His voice sounds…almost familiar, but it sounds like it is coming through a speaker. My stomach does a flip when I hear it. My stomach!

“I see. This is strange, indeed.” Jaehee sighs.

My head throbs a bit, and my body tingles. It feels like it is waking up after lying in a bad position for too long. I have a breathing mask on, and I can feel soft cotton sheets beneath my bare arms. Everything aches, and my skin feels like it is on fire in places.

“See? I told you something was…wrong. I just got so excited for the party…” the male voice on the computer said with a sigh. “I just didn’t realize it was this…bad.”

“Is Yoosung on the way? He told me you sent him with food and flowers for…” Jaehee trails off.

“Yeah, he’ll be there soon.”

“Thanks, Luciel. I’ll keep in touch.” Jaehee says and I hear the click of a laptop closing.

I can recognize her scent now; it smells like powder and cherry blossom, only softer. She draws close to me, and I can feel her hold my hand. I can feel my hand!

“Can you hear me?” She asks quietly. “I…I am unsure if you heard me before. I don’t know why I am so nervous now.”

Yes! I hear you! I feel the muscles in my face twitch beneath the skin. _OPEN_!

I internally yell at myself, trying to struggle to just…do anything! She gasps beside me, and it just fuels me, as I empty the strength from the rest of my body just to open my eyes.

“You…you can do it!” She whispers excitedly. “I know you can hear me, you are almost there. Please, please just a little more!”

Focus. I let out one exhale, and the pain starts. My eyes feel dry, and the light is blinding. I had lived behind the darkness behind my eyelids for so long, that the natural sunlight into the room was extreme. I squint against the light, the blurry figure of my ‘friend’ only just blocking the direct light from the window.

“Hah, oh my god.” She laughs, and grabs my hand. I am too weak to move it, or even to squeeze back as she grasps it. “You’re awake!”

My vision is still blurry, but I soon acclimate to the light. I am in a nice hospital room, painted in cream and tawny colors, and there are several bouquets of flowers on the far wall away from my bed.

Jaehee is a slender, smallish woman. Straight brown hair, cropped short around her face, with a pair of professional looking glasses blocking her distinctly almond shaped eyes. Her body relaxes immediately beneath the business suit she’s wearing, as I focus on her.

“Hello,” She smiles. “Oh, I should call Mr. Han, and Luciel…and V! Oh Yoosung will be so excited that he gets to greet you first...”

I want to talk, or try at least. Jaehee releases my hand, and walks to a door, leaning out and calling a nurse. In minutes, the breathing mask is removed, and I take my first shaky breaths. My chest hurts, but breathing without a tube in my throat feels much more relieving than I thought it would. Jaehee immediately starts talking on the phone, more excited than she should be.

She is usually so calm.

Wait…how do I know?

A nurse helps me drink water, and orders me to drink as much as I can. I nod, my throat still too dried out to speak, although I feel like I could. I watch Jaehee talk for several minutes before she hangs up and with a smile, helps me sip from a small plastic cup.

“I told them you are probably not up for visitors yet, but they insisted…” she tells me with a warm smile. “I am certain that V will be by soon, he is closest—“

There is a tap at the door. “Jaehee?” a soft male voice calls, and the door opens a little.

In pops a bright blonde haired boy—well, young man with such innocent lavender eyes. “Yoosung! You are just in time!” Jaehee cheers. “You will be happy to see—“

“Oh! You’re awake!” he smiles wildly and comes in the room, holding a big bouquet of sunflowers. “Wow, I didn’t think it would be so soon!”

“It’s been months, Yoosung.” Jaehee sighs. “In any case, you are the first one to arrive. I hope everyone will come at different times, so we don’t over stress her.”

“I think Seven said he was picking up Zen…” Yoosung smiles. “But it will be okay, we just won’t stay too long, yeah?”

“V will be by soon, I think he may be visiting Rika in the other wing.” Jaehee started gathering her things into one chair, and chatted with Yoosung.

I wonder how Lisa is doing.

Wait, who is Lisa?

Yoosung sits by my left hand, still holding onto the flowers with a bright smile on his face. “Hiya,” he says quietly. “You…you look the same.”

My eyes follow him, as he laughs nervously. “Haha, I guess it sounds strange. I’m sure we’ll be great friends soon. You’ll need lots of time to recover, so I brought you this,” he says, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small card with a barcode on it. “It’s a limited edition code for LOLOL, we can play while you are on bed rest. You shouldn’t get bored if you play, right?”

“Maybe she doesn’t like games?” Jaehee says, not looking up from her phone.

Yoosung pouts, and I can’t help but chuckle a little.

“Oh! You made a noise! Can you talk now?” Yoosung excitedly leans in. “I bet it still hurts. Those tubes can make the throat really raw, especially with how long you had it in.”

I shake my head after trying to talk, and he helps me sip the water again. I really wish I could move my arms.

“It’s okay, I am sure you’ll get it back soon.” He smiles and puts the flowers on the bedside table. “I didn’t know what kind to get…but these were so bright and happy looking, I thought you’d appreciate it.”

My lips curl into a small smile, and it takes a lot of effort, but the blonde seems so excited when he sees it, that I cannot help but choke down the pain.

Yoosung continues to talk to me about Rika—his cousin—and the RFA for a time. Jaehee continues to work on her phone, and steps out for coffee. Before she returns, another man lets himself into the room.

“V…” Yoosung smiles.

I look up at him. He is tall, lean, and wears loose fitting clothes, and sunglasses. I can still notice he favors one arm when he moves. “Hello, I am relieved you are awake.” He says in a deep, but soft voice. “Yoosung, may I have a moment?” The blonde nods and bows out of the room.

V sits in the now unoccupied chair, and removes his glasses. One eye is bright blue, the other is faded; he’s lost sight in that one. “I had thought I would have the words to say to you, when you woke up...”

He bows deeply, his head almost touching the mattress of my hospital bed. “There are no words that can describe what you’ve done for me—for all of us—and there is no way to thank you sufficiently.”

What did I do exactly? I try to remember, but it feels like my brain is being cut up with broken glass when I try to recall those memories.

“Thank you. You saved my life, you save Saeran’s sanity, and you brought Rika back to me. Your selfless acts made everyone safe and alive. You have my eternal thanks.” He says quietly, and I can just make out a muffled sob. By the time his head raises there is no evidence of tears, and I try my best to smile as a reply. “You must be very weak still. I should tell the others to come back another time.”

I shake my head a little, and his face loosens. “Very well, I am certain they will be happy to see you.”

Why did I do that? They know me, yes, but…What is this I feel?

There is a racket outside; multiple voices argue, and Jaehee’s pleading tone trying to negotiate between them. “Ah, I see your fan club has arrived.” V smiles, returning the glasses to his face, just in time for the door to slide open wide, and people come in, still arguing loudly.

“Guys, calm down please, she only just woke up!” Yoosung says, laughing nervously and looking at me with an apologetic smile.

“I can’t believe I have to be here with him.” A tall, beautiful man grumbles, nodding at another man in the doorway. “I just wanted to say hello without him being…well him!” The beautiful man looks at me and with a big, movie-star grin waves at me. “Hello! Sorry about all this.”

“Just keep the volume down, please.” Jaehee sighs, pushing past the group and taking up a position near the right side of my bed. “Where did Luciel go?”

“He said he needed to grab something from his car.” A much deeper voice replied, from the tall man in the door. “Assistant Lang? Did you finish the work I gave you?”

“I did, Mr. Han.” She says curtly. “I sent them to the office two hours ago.”

Alright, dark hair guy is Mr. Han…

“Zen, you can put the flowers on the table there.” Jaehee directs.

“Oh! Right! It looks like you have quite a bit of flowers already…but nobody hates flowers, right?” Zen smiles, and my stomach fills with butterflies. I watch his long white hair flutter in the air as he walks to the table and puts a vase of what looks like daisies in the front.

My mouth opens, and I try to talk, but V stops me. “You should not force it. I am sure everyone understands.” I smile and nod.

“More importantly, we all should be doing the talking now.” Zen says, leaning against the wall by the end of my bed. “After all, you saved everyone here.”

“True! Like a real hero!” Yoosung chimes in from my side.

“Which is why Jumin and I will be making sure you are taken care of for the time being.” V continues. “As means of thanking you.”

Mr. Han steps forward, and eases the tie at his throat. “Let’s not forget the reason we came here,” he clears his throat. “You need to get your health back, so you can help us again.”

“Geeze, she can’t even talk yet and you are telling her she needs to do more? Taking two bullets wasn’t enough?” Zen grumbles. “Trustfundkid must be the coldest person on the planet.”

“Hyun, he is the one paying for her recovery.” V reminds him, leaning in his chair. “Although, perhaps we can bring this up in a day or two? Our situation will not change between now and then.”

“Indeed.” Mr. Han sighs. “I am thankful that you appear to be doing well. On behalf of the RFA, I want to formally thank you for your deeds.”

I nod, my mind going a thousand miles a minute. I was shot? Twice? Saved people? What kind of person was I? And what could I possibly be needed for now?

“What Jumin means, is that we are all in you debt, but, we regretfully need to ask for your help again.” V says. “But that is for another day. For now, you should just focus on getting better. Once you have healed enough, we have an apartment prepared for you to live in.”

Wow…how much money is being spent on my behalf right now? What could I have done to deserve this?

“So…hah, I guess it’s a bit one sided, conversation wise.” Zen laughs, but the sound brightens the room. “It is good that you are awake though. I was hoping you’d be able to see my upcoming performance—“

Jaehee gasps, and I can’t help but laugh a little. “You mean—“

“I have two tickets,” Zen answers. Jaehee lights up like a Christmas tree. “You should take her to see it. I’d be really honored if she could.”

Zen is an actor?

“Of course! Oh you must get well by then, his work is just to die for!” Jaehee looks down at me with a beautifully excited smile.

I nod and try to reach for the water cup. My arm does move, but it knocks the cup over, spilling water onto my bedding. “Ah, I’ll get it.” Yoosung says, picking up the glass and dabbing the spot with a nearby towel. He refills it and holds it up for me to drink from. I feel my blush in my cheeks as I pull away from the cup and he returns it to the table. “It’s okay. You’ll get better quick! Maybe you have that weird healing thing Zen has…”

“That would be beneficial.” Jumin says. His phone rings and he turns away to answer it. The other talk about miscellaneous topics, and I listen enough to try and jog my memory of these people. When the call ends, Jumin excuses himself, and asks Jaehee to return to the office with him.

“I should get a workout done, since I’ll need to be top notch for my performance.” Zen winks at me, and with a flourished bow he excuses himself from the room. Jaehee promises to return with a dvd of her favorite clips of Zen’s performances as she leaves.

“Rika wants to come and say hello, too.” V tells me, standing. “But for now, I should leave you to your rest. Yoosung, I know she was looking forward to seeing you today as well.”

“Right! I’ll go now then.” The blonde jumps up. “We’ll talk soon, okay?” I nod and the two of them leave.

As suddenly as it began, the room was completely silent. The sun has already begun to set and the blinds close automatically against the direct sunlight. The words of my ‘friends’ echo in my mind, and I try to focus on the tugging pain in my chest when I think of them.

I took bullets for them.

For some reason I put myself on the line to save them. They must be important.

_The 14 th floor…brown hair…the game…Reset…_

_The scent of autumn leaves, carried on the wind…_

My head throbs, and I reach up, pressing weakly on my right temple. Shattered pieces of memory, images that have no place, sounds and sights that I cannot understand, pulse with my blood, and my eyes hurt.

I am crying.

My eyes no longer burn from being closed, but now a whole new heat flares in them; nearly blinding tears.

“Tell them I love them…”

The whisper leaves my lips as the door to my room slides silently open.

 


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing I saw was the bright red hair.

My chest immediately snapped closed. My heart hurt like it was being shot all over again. Looking at him walk slowly into the room, his golden eyes scanning for somewhere to put down an expensive looking laptop bag, made my breath catch all over again.

Luciel…no…

Saeyoung.

He rubs his neck and looks at me, staring at him. My tears stop, and I just watch him.

“Hello!” he cheers with a smile. It looks so forced, and he looks so tired. “I guess I missed everyone.”

I nod, and he looks like he doesn’t quite know what to do with himself. His eyes are so warm; and even from my seat in bed, I can see so much behind the rich golden irises. There are so many words, so many things to ask hiding in the galaxies of his mind. He is so sweet, so sad, and yet…Why am I thinking these things?

“Here, I brought you something.” He says, pulling out a…vaguely familiar computer. “You left it in your hotel room before…” he indicates the wounds on my hospital-gown covered wounds. “I thought maybe you’d be bored.”

It takes me a little bit to struggle with the screen to open the computer. Right away I am faced with a password. I look at him expectantly. “I don’t know. I never figured it out.” He sighs. “Don’t you remember your own passwords?”

This is mine?

I must have looked confused. “You…don’t remember?”

His eyes fall to the computer in my lap. I shake my head no.

“Do you remember what happened?” he asks, watching me intensely. His smile is fading. I look down at my fingers, resting on the keyboard. “Do…do you remember…anything?”

My eyes fill with tears again. Saeyoung’s face looks so sad at the realization. “It’s okay, I’m sure it will come back to you in no time!” he tries to sound cheery. He plops down into a chair by my side, and slides the computer toward him. “I hadn’t really tried to get into it, honestly. Jumin wanted me to, for security reasons, but I lied and said I couldn’t do it.” He taps away at the keys. “It is a good system though, so this might take me a while. You don’t mind, do you?”

I shake my head, and with a confident smile he goes to work.

It makes me…happy, that he is here. I wonder why? He blushes when his eyes look up at me watching him. “You don’t need to stare, I am not going anywhere.”

“Sae…young…”I whisper. It is more choked, and it takes a lot of effort. “Thank you.”

He stops working; his eyes suddenly very clouded with emotion. “No. I should be thanking you. Everyone is right, you know. You may not remember, but you…you did something great. No one quite knows how to repay you.”

I pull the computer back, and he only protests a little, but ultimately helps me replace it on my lap.

S1XOH0110& **1011000011**

**I type it and enter much faster than I thought I could. I feel myself blush as I realize what the password was. I had really liked Saeyoung…maybe that’s why he is making me so nervous and happy now?**

**The screen comes to life before me. “Ah, you remembered!” Saeyoung cheers. “Anything good in there?”**

**I smile and open the first of many files on the desktop. It is pictures, notes, and a music list. “Huh, that’s what I thought…” Saeyoung says, leaning over my arm to look at the screen. The images are all of Zen, with notes about schedule, locations, and people of interest…**

**It looked like investigation notes.**

**“You…helped us all, like this. It’s the first time seeing your notes though.” Saeyoung tells me, standing. “I’ll be right back; gonna grab a drink. You need anything?”**

**I shake my head and he leaves the room.**

**The cursor closes that file, and immediately opens a file labeled 707. Inside are extensive notes on programs and security systems, directions and blueprints. There are notes on sports cars (the GPS system specifically), and tucked away, hidden in one of the images of the redhead, is a file listed as private.**

**They look like diary entries.**

**_My_ ** **diary entries…**

**I close it quickly as Saeyoung enters the room, his arms full of Dr. Pepper cans and drops them by my legs on the bed. I can feel the chilled cans through the blankets. “Heh, figure I’ll get extras, just in case.” He grins and opens one. “I’m going to be here for a bit anyway.”**

**Why?**

**“If you don’t remember…” he sighs and pulls out a USB drive and hands it to me. “Someone needs to help you remember.” I look at his outstretched hand and he plugs the drive in. Right away I see two files. “The first is a program you wrote. It isn’t active now, but it is yours. I had to transfer it to a new drive, the one you delivered it on was…well you bled on it.”**

**I looked at the file. It was a virus of sorts.**

**_I have to remove his name…both of their names. I have to protect them both…_ **

**The sound of my own thoughts echo in my memory as I look at the blocks of code. “The second one…I got off of a device that was found on you. It’s an audio file, but I think you should listen to it.”**

**I open it.**

“How many times have I reset? How many years have I spent here, watching, waiting…Falling and crying…Waking up on the first day, all over again…” the voice says calmly. I can hear muffled groans. It is in my own voice.

We listened in silence to the trembling sound of my calm, resigned voice. It told of my bravery, my selfishness, my desire.

It was my story; it was the game.

When the voice came to a gargled end, the file cut out. I don’t remember this. “There is a lot to explain, but I think it is late enough to save it for another day.” Saeyoung yawned, stretching and sitting upright. “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.”

“Saeran?” I whisper, unable to get out more than a single word.

“He’s fine. Still in care, but improving, with the right help. Thank you, for…helping him. I don’t know what would have happened if he had actually....” Saeyoung’s voice trails off, briefly thinking. “Just, thank you.”

The room went silent for a while, and I stared blankly at the laptop. Everyone’s information was here, my notes, my pictures…

“Oh, and your ride is in my garage. I took the liberty to have it repaired, but if you want a newer model, we can do that too.” Saeyoung says finally, opening up a picture on his phone. On it, was a sleek, compact motorcycle, with a matching helmet, cleaned, and lined up between a couple of sports cars. “She looked happy with my babes, so I am letting her stay there for now.” He smiles. “You can keep it there, you know, till you are, uh, ready.”

“That’s mine?” I choke, a little surprised. Wow, I guess I must have forgotten this too. I didn’t think I was the type to have a motorcycle. I had mentioned it, in the recording, but…

“Yeah, you were pretty cool on it too.” He smiles, and zooms in to the bike. “You had the whole ‘hot biker chick’ look. The leathers you were wearing were…well destroyed. It’s a shame really, it was hot…uh, haha, you can forget that part,” he blushes and turns off his phone, turning away from me. “But uh, we can get you more, you know, if you want to.”

I blush and nod, “thanks.”

~~

I wake to a mostly dark room. The only light comes from the medical equipment, and a dim glow from an open laptop on the side table. Saeyoung is asleep, his head resting on his forearms in front of the open computer, and snoring softly. I smile, and pull my own laptop onto my lap again.

The diary is filled with my thoughts. Everything from collected albeit sorrow filled musings over the redhead hacker, to barely coherent drunk ramblings about the nature of the universe; “It’s not fair, and it hurts more than anything I could do to myself, to watch the man I love pick an empty shell of a woman,” I wrote often.

The last entry was short. “If anyone finds this, tell Zen I always believed in him, tell Yoosung he is worth so much more than he believes, tell Jaehee that she should be strong for herself and follow her own dreams, tell Jumin that emotion is what makes us human and expressing it is necessary from time to time…

“If you can speak to any of the above people, ask them to pass a message to Luciel—to 707—for me. Normal people won’t be able to reach him. Tell him…tell him he is worth it. Tell him that he deserves as much love as he can get his fill of. Tell him that he always has family and friends around him, and they form a strong bond that will catch him when he falls.

“Tell him that I existed. Tell him that I always loved him, long before I laid eyes on him. My heart stretched across dimensions to him, before I had even known how to recognize the feeling. That love, will always be with him, and no matter what comes next, it will always remain with him. I will be by your side, Saeyoung, the Ghost, the Sorei, ever watching over you, ever giving you my love, until the day we meet in the stars once more.”

My eyes fill with hot tears, and they focus on the boy asleep at the computer a few meters away. He still snores; his glasses are pushed off to the side, and are at a risk of breaking one of the arms off. The sensation in my chest grows; my hand clenches at my chest, through the gown, as if somehow the pressure will ease the feeling.

I shove the laptop to the side, and, carefully remove the bedding from my legs. The IV’s had long since been removed, but the movement made the stints sting in my arm. I had lost weight, and my once full legs were very leaned out now, looking almost sticklike in comparison. With some effort, I slid my legs off the bed.

It isn’t a thought that crosses my mind; this is nearly involuntary—compulsory even. Slowly, I shuffle, leaning on what I can reach for support. I ignore the tugging of skin on my torso and shoulder. Shuffle, shuffle…my socked feet slide on the wood floors easily, and my knees shake with the unfamiliar weight of my body.

I pull a blanket with me, and when I have made it to his side, I gently remove the glasses from his face, and hang them off of the open screen. Then, I place the blanket over his shoulders, covering as much of him as I could manage.

Good night, my love.

I place one kiss on his head, just firm enough to smell his hair, before returning to my bed, and climbing in, in time to lose the strength in my body.

He is so real. I can touch him, I can talk to him…the past me would be so happy to know that it was worth it.

~~

The following day Yoosung stopped by after his classes. He brought some chips and soda for Saeyoung, who spent most of the day on his computer with his headphones on. We talked for a long time, as I finally had my voice mostly back. After lunch, Zen stopped in and wheeled me out to the garden for tea and we spoke extensively about his career there.

Jumin and Jaehee both called around dinner; Jumin had many questions, but there were only so many I could truthfully answer. Jaehee honestly just wanted to know how I was feeling, how I was getting along with the staff, and if I needed anything ‘girl related’.

The hours in between guests is spent re-evaluating all of the data stored on ‘my’ laptop. It was definitely my language; and my slightly foggy brain can still understand everything that was written down, from code to diary. Even though I know it is my own work, it is like reading someone’s fictional story; it was like some sort of otome spy thriller fan-fiction.

Saeyoung slept for several hours like the previous night. On occasion, he’d mutter in his sleep, and nuzzle his face in the crook of his arm. While he slept, I went through all of my notes, all of the pictures, and reread as much of my diary that I could. There were literally years of information to sift through. By the end of the day, I had a good idea of what I had been doing, and what had happened to me.

Even after reading the words, the memory of it all just wouldn’t come to me. There were times that I felt like my brain was melting in searing hot pain, and I could almost—almost—remember the memory that prompted the words on the screen.

From what I could connect (and it took a flow-chart to figure it out), I am still in “Luciel’s Route” as I had named it in the notes. From the weather, it was early summer, a little under a year after the event at Mint Eye. Saeyoung would be around 22 years old now, and should no longer be working for ‘the agency’. Yoosung should be about ready to go into veterinary medicine schooling. Jaehee, provided she is still okay with being in Mr. Han’s employ, should be about 27 (she should have already had her coffeehouse established otherwise). Zen is now 25, and should be a rather established actor, now featured on television and movie theatre productions. Jumin probably has his cat businesses well underway, and I recall seeing an advertisement for his cat food line.

Ordinarily, V would have been killed and buried. Rika would be in some mental institution, getting care for her mental condition. Saeran would be under Saeyoung’s care, but recovering. However, I had interrupted this ‘normal’ ending. Instead of that bullet killing V, I took them, and in that way, I broke a cycle.

So now the ‘resets’ had stopped, and, as far as I could understand, there was no reason for it. I searched the web, dark web, even hacked some minor government agencies to get a grasp of what was going on in this version.

There was one nagging question that crept up on me during the day. Why is it that my notes never talk about this “MC”? It made note of her, dark brown hair, sweet smile, the way she talked in chat…

But who _was_ she?

I never saw note of her full name, never saw a schedule for her daily routine, and there was no mention of me doing any background check on her. For all intents and purposes, she was more a ghost than I was.

By nightfall, Saeyoung had woken, and resumed working on his computer in silence. Every now and again, I spot him looking up over to me, over his glasses, his eyes narrowing on me as I work in my own little world.

“You can go, you know.” I smile, after I see him look up at me for an extended period of time.

“Not until I am certain you’ll be safe.” He answers me coldly, and adjusts in his seat. “And I am setting up security in the apartment you’ll be living in. It will be perfect this time.”

“It was perfect before, you were just evenly matched.” I tell him, reaching for my water cup. “Perhaps you could recruit your brother to help you?”

He mutters something under his breath and puts his headset back on. “Saeyoung, you should get something to eat.” I call to him after a minute. He waves me off and chugs down the last of his soda. “Something consisting of more nutritional value, perhaps?”

“I’ll worry about it when I’m done.”

I sigh, and return to my searching. I started a facial recognition program, in attempts to find this MC girl, but the images I had available were shoddy at best, and I had little hope for positive results.

While that program ran, I re-visited my diary, skimming over the later parts of “Luciel’s Route”. My chest began to hurt all over again, reading the words. I refuse to cry in front of Luciel, and I look up to see him staring at me again, with tired, red eyes.

“Did you remember them?” I blurt out suddenly. “The resets? Did you remember all the times I failed?”

His eyes widen a little at first, but they relax into his million dollar smile and chuckled. “Why? Curious if I remembered you?”

“Yes.”

My answer was straight forward. Perhaps he was expecting more embarrassment, or dodging his teasing queries. His grin falters a little. “I…did remember you. I knew something was different about you the first time I saw you in person.”

Ah, yes; at Zen’s press conference, when I passed him behind stage. “It was…odd. When I looked at you, it was as if…well, I don’t quite know how else to put it. It looked like you were glitching out, like a computer screen does. No one else seemed to notice. At least, until I saw V later that night.”

“Did he remember?” I ask, focusing on my room mate. He stands, stretches, and snatches up my water glass, emptying it in one gulp.

“Yeah, he and I were the only ones.”

I remember what Yoosung had said. “Then…how did Yoosung know how I looked ‘before’? He said something like that when he came by.”

“Zen started it,” Saeyoung tells me. “He said at first he thought they were more of his prophetic dreams. He told me about a few resets that he didn’t remember happening. When Yoosung heard about this, he said he had weird memories about future events he couldn’t possibly remember, because he hadn’t lived them yet. He said you brought him a stray kitten at his vet clinic, and he remembered seeing your eyes in the helmet.”

“What about Jaehee?”

“She…was a bit harder to convince. She had mentioned, during a night of excessive wine consumption, that she had similar memories, but had written it off as hopeful dreaming. Jumin, on the other hand, is the last to join the bandwagon.”

“Somehow, I am not surprised.” I laugh to myself.

“He still is not entirely convinced, but trusts in V enough to believe something isn’t right.” Saeyoung goes to the window, and pulls open the blinds to look out into the city. “I have some ideas though, that he has similar dreams, but refuses to listen to them. There are times he…he looks so sad; if part of him remembers, and it is probably very hard for him to come to terms with the loss of his humanity.”

“He is human, I am certain he’ll come around.” I smile. “But you…you remembered all of them? How long have I done this?”

“I can’t really tell. I don’t know how many times you played before you came to the RFA party.” He’s still looking out of the window. “And since there are still things happening, time isn’t working right.”

What? Time isn’t working? “What do you mean?”

“It is hard to explain. Shortly after the events at Mint Eye, MC went missing, and then things just started going haywire. It was as if memories suddenly swapped, or were forgotten altogether.”

“So I am not the only one with memory missing?” I ask hopefully.

“Yours is the worst. From your audio message, I can only guess it has something to do with the ‘deal’ you made with that wizard guy. Although, I have never seen evidence of him, and there was no video of him at the apartment with MC.”

“I was found there though, right?”

“Yeah. She was asleep inside when the medics found you.”

“Who was she?”

“I…I don’t know. I thought I did, at first. Even though I had my memories of the previous resets, the information was always the same. But, even now, I can’t remember her name.” His voice trails off, and I hear the pain in his voice. “Even though I knew what was happening…”

My eyes burned with tears again and I looked down at the face of MC on the screen. “You still fell in love with her, didn’t you?”

He remains silent, and the atmosphere in the room confirms my question. “I’m sorry, Saeyoung.”

The redhead immediately changes his expression back to the perky nerd everyone knows and loves. “Eh, it’s done right? Serves her right, she’s missing out.”

“I was jealous of her.” I mutter looking at the picture of her. “Part of me even wanted to set off that bomb. I almost wish now…”

His head turns around to look at me wide eyed. “No, you did the right thing. You are too pure to have her death on your conscious. With how crazy everything is who knows if it would have helped at all.”

“I guess.”

The program finishes and, as expected, there are no solid leads. I sigh and close the program, and rub my head, which was throbbing with a hangover-like headache. “I had thought this was over. I really didn’t think I was going to wake up again.”

He sits on the edge of my bed, by my knees. “But you did, and I am so, so thankful. Maybe God hasn’t given up on me just yet.”

“I lost faith in that a long time ago. But I am glad you feel that way.” I answer with a weak smile. “I am also glad that there is such thing as pain killer.”

He chuckles and takes my laptop from me. “You should start with going to sleep. I’ll tell the nurse you need something and I’ll get out of here.”

I nod and he pulls the blanket up to my chin. “You’ll be out of here in no time. We’ll have a great housewarming party for you when you, and then you can start over.”

“My own reset…” I smile up at him as he dims the light. He turns to leave, and a yawn escapes me.

He leans out the door to flag down a nurse, before coming back inside. “Saeyoung,” I start, my eyes drooping with sudden tiredness.

“Hmm?” he asks with a soft smile.

“Will you stay? Until I am asleep?” I wouldn’t have asked normally, but there is so much going through my mind, I can’t help but feel comforted by his presence. Plus…I know now what the old me saw when I looked at him. I didn’t want him to be far from me.

He hesitates a moment. “Sure,” and he takes up his phone and sits by my side. “Should I read you a story?”

I nod, and he begins to read a fairy tale. I don’t know what it was, and I am asleep before I have the chance to ask him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, attempting more chapters!  
> WARNING: this chapter was written on 3 hours of sleep over the course of the weekend. Grammar and punctuation may be weird, so let me know if you spot something. I just really wanted to get the chapter out before the start of the week.  
> Please tell me if you think this is dragging on too long, it seems rushed, or if you have any little requests that I may be able to fit in here. I'm always open to suggestions!  
> Enjoy!

As promised, I was out of the hospital soon. Well, soon considering the damage to my body. The wound in my shoulder ached, but healed well. I had several surgeries to my stomach, and still had regular checkups with the doctors for the better part of a month before I was released to the care of my RFA friends.

Everyone stopped by at some point, during my recovery. Yoosung was a frequent visitor, helping me download the game he loved and show me around the UI. We even played a bit together, and he always made comments about how quickly I was picking everything up. Perhaps I had been into gaming before?

Jaehee stopped by after her work was completed, bringing a DVD to watch with her while I ate late dinner. She was excited about the upcoming performance Zen was in, and we talked at length about the plans to see it. She really seems like a lonely woman, and I wonder if she has any friends outside of work and the RFA.

Jumin stopped by once a week, generally accompanied by Jaehee. He was very straight to the point and was most interested in my treatment and recovery. He didn’t bring up the ‘favor’ one time, although I suspect that was due to everyone’s suggestion to put it off. He made sure I was supplied with clothes for my release.

V came by twice in that month. The first time, he was visibly tired; red eyed, swollen faced, and stifling yawns when he thought I was not looking. He never stayed long, but always was warm and friendly. He always asked about my memory, about what I did before ‘all of this’, and I would answer in hypothetical, based on what I knew from my diary entries and recordings.

The one person that surprised me the most was Rika.

She showed up unannounced late morning about two weeks before I was released. At first, we simply looked at each other in awkward silence. I didn’t know what to say to her; part of me was enraged upon seeing her, after the damage I had seen her cause. Eventually she sat at my bedside and smiled weakly.

“Thank you.” She whispered. “Thank you for saving them. You shouldn’t have had to, and I am sorry.”

I nod, still unable to find the words.

“I know you are angry; rightfully so. I have one favor to ask you.” Rika grabs my hand and holds it, pleading with me.

“What?” I manage eventually.

“Watch over them. I only ever wanted to save them. And it is my fault that they are suffering now. I am going to go far away, so I can’t hurt them.” The blonde explains with a sad smile. “Hopefully I’ll recover, and maybe some day…”

“What about MC?” I ask. Her eyes dart up to me, a strange look passing her delicate features for just a minute.

“I hope you won’t need to worry about her.” Rika releases my hand.

I’m sure my mouth dropped open then, and I stared at her as she smiled again. I wanted to ask what she meant. I wanted to ask why she looked so sad and yet so determined.

I stayed quiet until she got up and left with a single farewell.

~~

Days seemed to blur together for a bit. Before I knew it, I was sitting in a large living room in Saeyoung’s huge house.

It turned out, Seven was not impressed with the security of the apartments that V and Jumin chose, and eventually convinced them to just allow me to stay there.

They objected at first.

Something about his previous job being a threat to me seemed to be the biggest argument. Saeyoung laughed at Jumin for pointed this out. I remember Seven noting that I was the only person to be able to actually infiltrate his house, infect his computer with a virus which spread worldwide, and escape before any alarms went off.

Jumin agreed shortly thereafter.

Today was one of the few days that Saeyoung didn’t spend with his brother in the facility, and Rika had gone off to some private recovery program in Alaska. So it was just the surviving members of the RFA, and yours truly.

So here we are, sitting in the living room.

There is a massive stack of Dr. Pepper cans in a giant pyramid in the corner, and I can definitely smell the distinct scent of his favorite potato chips. Zen is idly playing a guitar on the couch, next to Yoosung who is taking pictures of everyone and excitedly chatting about the future. Jumin and V are talking quietly by the living room entryway, and Jaehee is taking notes nearby.

Seven is somewhere in the kitchen. Occasionally I hear a loud bang or clattering of what I assume is cookware on countertops or floors or…who knows what.

“Oi, Saeyoung!” Zen calls with a smile. “What are you doing out there?”

The redhead pokes his head out with a goofy smile. “Hehe it’s a surprise!” he giggles and ducks back into the kitchen.

“Maybe he’s cooking?” Yoosung suggests with a smile.

“Hah, yeah right. All he only knows how to open chip bags,” Zen laughs. “I am curious though. I have a bad feeling about this.”

Moments later I hear a unique whirr and a strange unidentifiable sound coming from the entry to the kitchen.

To my surprise, a small familiar robot trots from the doorway. The small dark metal dog makes its way shakily toward me, a tray in its mouth with a small cake on top. The robot looks bigger in person. But then again maybe it is version 2.

Written on the cake is “Congratulations!” written in binary.

I laugh as Jumin and V look over to see what the noise is about. V chuckles and Jumin doesn’t seem to understand it.

“You couldn’t order a normal cake? Do you ever take anything seriously?” Jaehee asks with a sigh. I spy a slight smile on her lips as she looks at me, giggling at the cake.

Saeyoung appears in the doorway, a blocky remote in his hands, and a big grin on his face. “Why be serious today? It’s a celebration!” His tongue sticks out as he maneuvers the joysticks and the dog puts the cake on the nearby coffee table. It barks a sort of mechanical/computerized bark and trots back to sit next to me on the floor.

“It’s so cute!” I say through my laugh. “Thank you Saeyoung. And thank you for not making it a cat.”

“Don’t say the ‘c’ word!” Zen sneezes.

There is a chuckle from most of the guests, as everyone settles in various seats and I cut the cake into even pieces. Jumin pours wine and Yoosung helps me pass cake and glasses around.

“Have you settled in okay?” Jaehee asks as I am plating a piece. “I mean, I have no reason not to trust Luciel, but…there won’t be any issues, right?”

“I only got here this morning. I didn’t realize the place was quite this large. Well…maybe I did at one point, but I certainly didn’t remember.” I smile at her. “I’ll get used to it eventually.”

“You can always find an apartment or home to your liking.” V suggests as he takes a sip of tea.

Jumin nods. “I am still looking for a suitable location. I do not agree with you living here.”

Saeyoung plops down on the couch beside me with a new can of Dr. Pepper in hand. He looks tired. He had spent the night with his brother before returning to clean up the place for my arrival. His eyes were slightly bloodshot, and dark circles were under his eyes, but his smile hid a lot of it.

“I can’t believe I am going to say this, but I…agree with Trustfundkid. Even though he’s a workaholic and a joker, he’s still a man,” Zen sighs with obvious distaste. “I just can’t feel good about you living here with him…alone.”

I tilt my head thinking about it. He’s always been perfectly platonic with me. Why would Zen be so concerned? It hasn’t been long since MC disappeared, and he couldn’t possibly have forgotten the feelings he had for her already. Sure, I can hope, but the likelihood of anything ACTUALLY happening is…

“Aww come on, nothing’s gonna happen!” Seven chimes in, with his mouth full of cake. “I work all the time anyway, and it’s the best way for me to make sure nothing else happens to her.”

“As true as that is,” Jaehee says, adjusting her glasses, “I just cannot get past the idea of her staying here alone. There has to be a better option.”

I put my plate down after a bite and listen quietly. It is as if I am not here; and I don’t particularly like it. “If you don’t mind me saying—actually I don’t care if you mind or not—I am here. I am an adult, and as I recall, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Thank you for your concern, but please do not talk about me as if I am not present.”

The room is silent for a moment before Yoosung saves me. “She is right, guys. Let’s just give her a chance. Seven is the one that knows her best, so maybe it is for the better that she’s here. She obviously likes him, so leave her alone about it.”

“Sorry princess.” Zen smiles. “I guess we are all a little…overprotective.”

With that, the conversation quickly changes to idle chatter. They take turns asking random questions of me; everything from Jumin inquiring of my favorite wine, to Yoosung asking if I liked to cook. Strangely, Saeyoung stayed rather quiet through the whole evening.

I assumed it was due to his exhaustion, but I couldn’t quite forget it.

They told me stories of the previous RFA parties, and we talked for some time before the little welcoming party came to an end. I saw everyone to the door and watched them get into their respective vehicles before closing the door and turning to see Saeyoung still on the couch, rubbing his temples as if he was in pain. The doors lock with a rumble of tumblers and computerized mechanisms, and I head back to clean away what dishes were left behind.

“I am sure Vanderwood will be happy not to have to clean for you anymore.” I say cheerfully, trying to lighten the mood. He was obviously tired, and something was bothering him; I could feel it in the air like electricity.

He doesn’t move.

I gather the napkins and empty cans of soda, the dirty plates and wine glasses and shuffle into the kitchen.

“Are you really okay being here?” I hear him ask behind me as I carefully wash the dishes and put them in the drain rack on the counter. “If anything is uncomfortable, just say so.”

I smile and shut off the water, drying my hands. “Saeyoung, I am fine. Your offer to let me stay here is very welcome. I couldn’t have asked for a better…friend.”

My heart tugs and twists as the word ‘friend’ leaves my lips. The part of me lost to amnesia is hurting, and I feel as if tears are threatening. The distinct feeling of his eyes watching me makes my skin tingle, and I can’t quite shake it. I cork the last of the wine and put it away, cleaning the counters and cooking surfaces, while Saeyoung just stands there watching me.

He’s so tired.

“Well, if you do need anything…” he mutters eventually.

“Saeyoung, go get some sleep,” I say as he turns suddenly away from me. “I’ll be fine. Your house is big, and I won’t wander into any rooms where the doors are closed. I don’t know what kind of boobie-traps you have set up around here.”

He chuckles, “Well until now, very few. But I might now, since you gave me the idea!” He steps into the living room, and I follow. “Hey, come sit with me a bit. I’m not ready for bed yet.”

I nod and sit next to him on the couch, pulling my legs up to wedge myself into the corner and nestle into the cushions. He laughs and flops his legs over mine. “So, God Seven, what’s up?”

He shrugs. “Don’t know really. I just don’t want to sleep yet. It’s crazy huh? My eyes are so heavy, and Dr. Pepper isn’t even helping anymore.”

“Then you should sleep.” I note with a smile, “because it is looking to me like you’re going to pass out in a second.”

“But…what if…” he mutters to himself, looking away, “what if you are gone when I wake up?”

I pat his legs reassuringly. “Saeyoung, I wouldn’t know where to go if I did get away. I’m not leaving.”

“That’s…not what I mean.”

I look at him as he struggles to find the right words.

“What if whatever brought you here takes you back?”

The tone in his voice is heart wrenching. Somewhere in my mind, my emotions are rejoicing; he wants me to stay with him! His cheeks blush and he sits up suddenly. “N-never mind. I must be too tired.”

“Saeyoung…” I whisper.

“I’m going to bed after all. Good night, and remember what I told you about the AC controls. The house can get a bit cold in the rooms I don’t usually use so…” He gets up and shuffles toward the hall where his room is located.

“Good night, God Seven.” I say and watch him disappear behind the large set of doors.

~~

_I am moving, walking down a familiar hall._

_Like I am floating._

_I’m vaguely aware that I am dreaming, as the edges of my vision are blurred, words and numbers are only vague lines that only register as the letters and numbers I should be familiar with._

_It is cool, the hall way is moderately lit, and I pass a very familiar squared pillar._

_“It isn’t fair!”_

_The woman’s voice is shrill as she yells this. I stop, dodging behind the pillar to hide. What is going on?_

_“This is MY game! It isn’t fair!”_

_I look around the pillar and see light coming from a single apartment door. Two silhouettes are shadowed against the bright yellow light coming from the apartment. One is a tall figure, with a masculine frame, the other a short, long haired female who is expressing her distain with her arms and pacing back and forth._

_Can I get closer?_

_The silhouette of the man—assumed man—shifts to lean against the wall by the door, seemingly uncaring about the anger or frustration of the woman before him. I see the tail end of a long ponytail of silver-blue hair and almost gaudy flowing coat shift into view as he moves._

_The pang of familiarity is almost nauseating._

_I know that man._

_“You didn’t win the game. It was simple rules, my dear.” The man says calmly. The voice is strange, familiar, warm but also otherworldly. “You were supposed to accomplish one thing for your happy ending—your wish—to be granted. You should be grateful that I am extending the game as it is.”_

_“But YOU brought that bitch here! She messed it all up! Every single time!” The woman wailed furiously._ _Her erratic movements have me terrified of being found, and I find myself hiding behind the pillar every time it even looks like she is going to face my way._

_The man chuckled and backed into the hall, leaning against the wall._

_The wall where I collapsed._

_I could almost see reddish stains on the pale painted wall._

_It was…_

_“I have a duty to fulfill as a wizard and proprietor of this game,” the man laughs, and the sound is melodic, but his eyes are dark, and angry. “It wouldn’t be a game if it was easy.”_

_The woman growls and storms out, waving her hands and pointing at him. “I WILL beat you! How DARE you contradict me! This is MY wish, MY game! And this will be MY RULES!”_

_She sounds like a selfish brat who lost at Monopoly. On the other hand I have to consciously stifle a laugh as she reacts and screams in frustration. There is a part of me that is happy that she is suffering, but I can’t understand why._

_My eyes focus on her; long brown hair, slender, definitely Korean ethnicity, dressed in the most current clothing styles…_

_My head suddenly stung like an ice pick was jammed into my skull._

_MC…and the Wizard!_

_“My dear, you agreed to the rules. You do not have the power to change them. You can either win, or loose. It is that simple.” The man smiled. For a millisecond, I think his eyes dart to me hiding behind the pillar, and his eyes actually look kind._

_I am dreaming still, right?_

_This is a dream. How is she—how are THEY here? What is going on?_

_The woman screams profanities in Korean, paces and mutters incomprehensibly. The man sighs and gets up from his reclined position against the wall. His hand runs down a patch of paint that looks like it was freshly painted. There is a brief sad look in his eye and he sighs again._

_“Well, if all you had to talk about was to scream at me about how badly you performed, then I’ll be off.” He starts to walk away, stopping just short of the pillar I am hiding behind and turning to look over his shoulder._

_She is furious. Her normally beautiful features are contorted and her face is red with anger. Her balled fists are going white and her hair is ruffled and unkempt. “Don’t walk away from me! This was my deepest desire; you are messing it up!”_

_“Sometimes, my dear,” The man says with a smile in his voice, “what you want, and what you need are very different. Enjoy the game while you can.”_

_He passes by and his coat sort of brushes against my crouched form. As I feel the fabric, the world fades to black._

Sweat is saturating my pajamas, and I am panting like I ran a marathon when my eyes fly open and I nearly jump out of bed as if the sheets are on fire.

It was so real.

My eyes scan the darkness, listening to the distant white noise of the computers and electronics in the house. I hear nothing but the sound of my own terrified heartbeat in my ears. My back is chilled against the wall of the bedroom, and all I can see is the faint glow of moonlight through the window. The scars ache from the sudden movement, but I can barely feel it over the thudding of my heartbeat against my ribs. Just a dream…it was just a dream.

As soon as my breathing evens out, I grab my phone and leave my room.

My nerves are still on fire after I drink some water in the kitchen. All I can think of is the appearance of the wizard character and MC in my dream. The sound of her screaming is echoing in my head, and the look in the wizard’s eyes is burned into my own.

I stub my toe on something in the dark hallway when I somewhat come back to reality. Before me are the double doors leading to the master bedroom. The right door is open about six inches, and a dim blue light is casting a shadow in the hallway at my feet. Is he still awake? Maybe talking to him will help me calm down.

“Saeyoung?” I whisper as I push the door open.

At first all I see is darkness and the source of the blue light; a backlit keyboard in front of a computer glows in the corner. Soft music is playing from the dimly lit corner, and I can just barely make out steady breathing.

I shuffle as quietly as I could, and as I am avoiding an oversized gaming chair, about to call out to him again, when I spot the redhead.

He is clearly asleep sitting upright on his bed, still wearing the clothes he wore earlier. A laptop is resting on his legs, long having gone to sleep mode, the screen gone black. A faint red power light is the only indication that the sleeping was not intentional.

“Saeyoung?” I whisper again, softly padding closer to him.

He shifts, and the laptop slides off his lap and he groans in his sleep. I wonder if MC ever got to see him so…cute?

The memory of her voice, and the pure anger in her eyes sends shivers down me as I carefully slide the laptop to the safer surface of the mattress beside him. Hopefully it won’t over heat there.

A yawn escapes me as I cover his legs with a light throw blanket and take his glasses off. These simple acts take much longer when I struggle to stay silent and operate in the dark corner of the room. He shifts and mutters in his sleep as I work about him, and finally I am content that he won’t break anything.

Something about being in Saeyoung’s presence is calming for me. Maybe I can just sit in the gaming chair until I’m tired enough to sleep.  I shuffle back the way I entered, following the wall until I find the gaming nook in the front room.

The gaming chair is a fancy computer chair crossed with a Lazy-boy over-stuffed recliner. I can hear the crunch of chip crumbs as I sit down, making me stop and brush the seat off before reclining. Immediately my body grows heavy and relaxes in the chair. The memory of the dream is fading quickly, and I take out my phone to look through the newly renovated RFA chatroom logs as my eyes start to drift shut.

The slight shivers I fell asleep to are suddenly gone. I can’t open my eyes just yet. I am still mostly asleep, and I don’t want to wake up.

Something smells different.

What a strange thing to note.

The room is still very dark, but I can just make out the form of Saeyoung above me, pulling blankets over me. I’m in bed.

But this isn’t my bed.

My eyes follow him as he circles around and gently climbs on the bed, facing me. His eyes sparkle in the dim blue light, and I keep my eyes as closed as possible, and roll to my side as if I was still asleep.

Why was I doing this?

A length of my hair falls across my face, and in a moment, Saeyoung carefully brushes it behind my ear. I can see the shape of his cheek against the blue light, and it looks like he is smiling. I feel him put a warm hand on mine, resting just in front of my chest. Is he…watching me sleep? My face heats up, and I try to turn my face down toward the pillow. He strokes my hair, and my head instinctively turns into his palm.

My heart is singing. Suddenly I am very, very warm.

What is he doing?

I want to cuddle up to him; I want to be warmer, burning even, safe…

Maybe Zen was a little misguided. Maybe I am the beast. As suddenly as it began, he pulled away just a little, leaving his hand atop mine.

“Sweet dreams, Sorei.” He whispers and closes his eyes. In minutes I hear his quiet, even breaths, and I can’t help but fall to sleep soon after.

 


	4. Chapter 4

I am somewhat surprised when I wake up long before I should have.

I am more surprised when I am met by a mass of brilliant red hair and the steady heat of a man’s body inches from my own. Somehow, I had forgotten, or maybe just dismissed the last fading memories of the previous night.

Had he carried me to bed, or did I somehow sleep walk there? Why didn’t he wake me? Why was I in _his_ bed?

My face is so hot.

My body is so hot.

I look around and spy my phone on the bedside table. The room is just barely beginning to be lit by the dawn, and beneath the rosy glow of the early sun, lay that beautiful man, peacefully asleep.

Or at least pretending to be.

The sun in his hair makes it look like fire, his hair sways and almost seems feather-soft, downy and wispy. Without his glasses on, he looks so much younger, innocent, and peaceful; and I want to stay and just watch him. He rolls to his back, and a small groan escapes his slightly smiling lips. If I didn’t know better, he knew I was staring.

I always feel like he is watching me when I am around Saeyoung. Even now, when his eyes are clearly closed, and his chest--beneath the thin black tank top he wore to bed—raises and falls gently with each steady breath. His eyelashes flutter from time to time as his eyes move in REM sleep fashion.

He is beautiful.

My face is getting too hot. I need to go.

My core is so hot I feel like I’ll start sweating just by looking at him. He had not even touched me in such a manner that would make my body respond like a teenage girl. My hormones are totally out of control.

But Saeyoung was a total gentleman.

Yes, he must have just had me sleep there because he could tell I was apprehensive.

That must be it.

The kitchen is dark and cold when I get there. I make a modest breakfast of a veggie filled omelet and some coffee (Saeyoung bought it just for me), I made extra, leaving it on the counter, expecting Saeyoung to wake to the smell of food before long. Sun is completely up by the time I return to my room.

The shower in the en suit bathroom is very comforting; however it leaves me alone with my thoughts. All I can dwell on is that dream. Surely it was just a nightmare, right?

But something is nagging at me. It is eating me up from the inside. Something just doesn’t feel right. I can’t really rest until I know for sure that my friends…and that includes V, Saeran, and even Rika, are safe.

The way MC growled at that man, the hatred and tangible fury was absolutely terrifying; my imagination was surely taking things farther than necessary, but in my head she was capable of anything.

I worked too hard to keep things from going wrong, and people getting hurt. She will not get the better of me just because I was shot twice and lost my memory.

But she’s been missing for months. Surely Saeyoung has been monitoring the cameras at Rika’s old place, and making sure it isn’t some sort of replay loop of old footage or something. Surely he has gone through and checked all of the usual places that she’d go. With my notes, and I am certain he’d looked through most of them, he probably checked each and every location and scenario based on each of the RFA members ‘routes’, just to be sure.

Surely he would have said something if he found it, right?

By the time I was finished washing up, my mind was well decided. Today, I needed to see for myself.

I still had the bike; Saeyoung had shown it to me, nestled in with his fast cars in the extensive underground garage. He told me how to operate the doors and the codes needed to get into the locked bunker, since he had changed them all after I got in last time. I had a helmet sitting with the bike, and I suppose I’d have to go get new gear on the way.

Just because I am worried doesn’t mean I’m a fool; no way am I riding unprotected.

Sitting on a chair in the corner is a large clothing box with a big blue bow on it. Somehow I had missed it last night. I open the lid to see new riding leathers in sleek black leather with blue piping and details.

“Aw, Saeyoung...” I smile taking out the jacket and holding it up to my chest in the mirror. Of course they fit.  I wonder if I really remember how to ride my bike?

Hopefully it’s like a bicycle; you never forget how to ride. With a big, shit eating grin, I changed in the walk in closet, since I still needed a shirt and underwear.

“What are you doing so early?”

Saeyoung is leaning in the doorway as I finish dressing, half eaten omelet in his hand, and his mouth full of food. He is still in his pajamas, his hair is messed up, and he has a smudge of ketchup on his cheek.

I jump a little as I see him, and have to suppress the giggle in my chest as he eyes me wide eyed and resembling a chipmunk or a hamster with cheeks full of food. “S-Saeyoung, it would be nice if you’d knock. What if I was changing in here?” I smirk, toss my night clothes on the bed, and pick up the jacket from the chair I had slung it over.

“Then I’d get a show with breakfast,” He replies quietly. His cheeks turn a bit pink but he plays it down. “Thanks for that, by the way. I haven’t had real breakfast in a long time.”

“Well, you’re welcome. Least I can do considering…” I start, trying to think of what exactly he did. “Considering you helped me last night.”

He shrugged and shoved the last giant bite into his mouth, and with an exaggerated swallow he sighs with contentment. “Now, where are you off to? Are you sure you have the go ahead to go out already?”

“You’ll be out with your brother all day, and I really don’t’ feel like playing LOLOL with Yoosung, so yeah, I think I am fine. I’ll go stir crazy if I sit too long; the hospital stay was plenty long enough to sit.” I shoo him from the room and close the door. “Plus, you were so nice to buy me these perfectly fitted leathers, I’d be an awful friend not to try them right away,” I wink and run my hand over the curve of my hip where the leather pulls the tightest, accentuating my curves. His eyes flicker just a moment and he smirks.

“Fair enough. But be careful, I don’t know what could happen to you, but I won’t be able to keep an eye on you as well, when I’m with Saeran…” Saeyoung sighs.

I put a hand on his shoulder. He still hurts over the pain his brother has suffered. As much as I wanted him to watch me, leather bound and bad-assery laden, I couldn’t make him even if I wanted to. “Saeyoung, I’ll be fine. I’m not planning anything dangerous. Maybe follow Zen around and take pictures to make merch with.”

The sting to my chest as those words left me almost gave my intentions away. Of course I had no intention of going to see Zen. Surely he knew that too. I was not going to see any of my new friends.

My dream still haunted me.

He laughs. “There’s a box in the computer room, the big yellow one, with all sorts of cameras. You’re welcome to it! I just get a cut of the profits. My babies need some new pretties.”

His smile is contagious. Even then, behind the glasses, there are dark circles under his eyes, and his cheeks are a bit flushed. “Maybe I should just take one of your cars then, if you’re so worried about the bike…”

His laughing stops and he looks suddenly worried. “No, no, that’s okay! I trust you know your body!”

I laugh this time as he feigns panic. “Seriously though, I want to drive one, just once. But not today.”

Twenty minutes later, after Saeyoung takes a couple of ‘beauty shots’ of me with the fixed up bike, I am on the road, headed down the vaguely familiar winding route toward the city center.

It is a strange sense of De ja vu.

I know these streets, the buildings, but it seems like it was all in some crazy dream. Even through the helmet I can smell the distinct scent of water as I pass over the rivers, I can smell the trees that are laden with pollen and remind me of what I must have felt when I bought that cabin…

Before I knew it, I was parked at the front of Rika’s apartment building, staring up at the 14th floor. I never realized just how large the building was. Perhaps I did once, and such a minor fact escaped my notice before.

Funny how one notices small things after they are important.

Being almost killed helps too I imagine.

I walk inside, passing people coming from lower floors; leaving for work or school I imagine. With helmet secured under my left arm, I hit the elevator, and get inside.

The button for the 14th floor looks new.

The carpets look new.

The walls are freshly cleaned, only small children’s handprints dirty the shiny metal walls. Nobody has vandalized the pristine elevator. Not that I remember it being trashed before, but…

Oh, right. I bled all over it. I am sure the property owner would have had a nasty time cleaning it up.

Just as the doors close, a man slides into the elevator with me. He is quiet, very tall, and wearing a long coat, like a trench coat, over what looks like a purple hoodie.

Strange, but what do I know about fashion anyway?

He must be some sort of eccentric artist or something. But what is this feeling in my gut? There is something…off. Then as the elevator starts to rise, I see it.

He doesn’t press a floor button.

I am leaning against the back wall, with my right shoulder in the corner. He’s standing almost dead center, perfectly still, staring straight forward, hood up. I didn’t take any weapons today; what if he tries something? Would I be able to defend myself, with the wounds just barely closed up?

His hand twitches, and I notice several large, gaudy rings; so he isn’t a homeless man, or he’d have sold those for food or booze or drugs or something.

Suddenly, he hits the emergency stop button.

The elevator jerks to a halt, as I brace myself against the wall. The helmet hits the floor with a loud thud and rolls toward him. Alarm bells are going off, and I am considering what options I have. We are stuck between floors 8 and 9, and somehow I feel like nobody else has noticed.

“I won’t bite.” He says finally. The voice is quiet, melodic, almost magical.

My eyes widen as he removes the hood to show long silver-blue hair, and that devilish smile. “You…”

He bows. “Sorry for the shock, but desperate times…” he waves with a flourish. “And there are things you need to stay away from.”

I scoff. “I am a big girl. Clearly I did the job for you. Who are you really? Why am I still here? What is going on?”

“One at a time, princess.” The wizard says with a tired smile. “The ‘job’ isn’t done yet. You know that. Did you really think you’d be able to dream of something like that, after the life you’ve lived for the past decade plus?”

“DECADE?!” I squeak.

“Yes, more or less. I might add, you look good considering.” He leans against the wall. “Well, that’s part my doing too. See, you don’t really exist here; not really. As the original game was finished, you became more…solid on this side. Genius really, means you didn’t age at all during that time.”

“What? What are you talking about? What game?” I am getting angry, and a furious headache is building, as the parts of my memory fight to keep itself hidden away.

He sighs, and looks bored. Anger is bubbling in me now, in addition to my throbbing headache, my blood pressure is going through the roof. “When I asked you to take care of that ‘problem’ of mine, it was actually you agreeing to be something of the antagonist in a little…competition I do when I’m feeling generous.”

I fold my arms, holding the anger in my chest and allowing him to answer. It looks like there is more, and I say nothing more.

“Well, okay, so I am like you in a way; I am not from here either, or from where you’re from I guess. I kinda live…outside of all that.” He smiles at me, his lips curling into a Cheshire cat grin as I scowl at him. “Think of this world being something of a ‘parallel universe’ of sorts, and you came from a different one. I live outside of them all.” His smile broadens as if he sees something in my eyes that entertains him.

I, however scowl so hard my face hurts. He isn’t really answering much.

“When someone has a deep, true desire, I am somewhat summoned to them. You humans call it magic, and have long ago named me a wizard as a result.” He gestures and little flashes of color fly from his palm in the shape of animals before disappearing. “However, I don’t have a choice as to who gets to summon me. As I am the last of my kind, I have a duty to continue regardless if I feel that person deserves it.”

I nod a little, which makes the headache worsen. I rub my temples with rough pressure, and sigh. “So…I was the bad guy somehow? Even though all I was doing was fix everything?”

“I never said you were a bad guy. As it turns out, the person who had the desire was…unfortunately rather unsavory, and I had no choice. I have no power to go against her if she is willing to summon me and agree to the game.”

My eyes widen a bit. “She…”

“The one you call MC. Her real name is irrelevant.” The wizard tells me matter-of-factly. “She wanted to live here, with them. More importantly, she wanted them all to—for lack of better terms—worship her and her alone.” He continues. “The game—of which you became a participant—was to make at least one of them fall in love with her, but the condition is that no one could doubt her in any way. She had to be totally innocent in the eyes of the RFA.” He laughs and looks distant, as if he remembered the moment fondly. “She said it would be easy, and agreed quite earnestly.”

“So the resets…they were because someone doubted her credibility?” I ask with a heavy sigh; he nods. “Was it Saeyoung?” he nods again. Of course it was; he was the one that truly remembered, the one that saw me the whole time. So that means…

“The redhead seemed particularly interested in you, during your absences. Since he could—to some extent—remember each reset the same way you did, he was able to keep track of her personality and was curious about your interferences. Since you always showed up when her actions seemed most curious, he harbored doubts about the girl.”

That, at least, was something of a relief. Maybe Saeyoung will remember something that can help me. But if I ask him, will it further involve him in this stupid game? Will the others also be dragged into some new, crazy scheme of hers?

No, I cannot allow that. Not after all they have been through; they cannot be hurt again.

“How can you agree to that? Even more, how can you propose that?! These are people’s lives we’re talking about!” I gasp, noting my mouth had dropped open at the sound of her name.

His oddly perfect features contort in frustration and a shadow falls over his features. “As I clearly said, I don’t have a choice. I created the rules so she had to test her ability to change and be a decent human being; unfortunately she could not. The best I could do was find someone who could find a deep desire to save them; that was you.”

I stare at him. I almost cannot comprehend what he’s saying. If it wasn’t for the fact that I had heard my own voice recording multiple times, I would have said he was crazier than…well I won’t say.

“So…now…what am I?” I ask quietly. “You said I am ‘more solid’, does that mean I exist here now? Does it have to do with Saeyoung seeing me glitch out?”

He nods. “You are as much a part of this universe as you were in your old. However, you are a bit of an anomaly since you don’t have a history to look up. I’m sure your eye-candy tech guy has noticed that.” He winks at me. His changing attitude and moods are almost as frustratingly tiresome as the situation itself. “But, that being said…You are as much a participant as she is. You can also win the game.”

“And if I refuse to play?” I snap.

“Then likely, she will win.”

There is a long pause in conversation; I stare at the blinking emergency lights and hear a crackling voice over the intercom. The wizard tells the voice it’s okay, he just bumped into the button, and started the elevator back up again. With a somewhat sad smile he puts his hood back up and faces the door without looking at me again.

“She is going to try to win still.” He says quietly. “And I am sorry.”

“Why?” I ask.

“Because, regardless if she has realized this or not, in order to win…” He sighs as the elevator reaches floor 14. The doors open and he steps out. “She would have to destroy you.”

With a flourish of his hand, the doors close as I hear him say “Oh, so you should probably never come here…” as the doors close and I descend down to the ground floor.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

I’m playing this game regardless if I want to or not. On top of that…I cannot lose. For the sake of the RFA, and especially for Saeyoung, I cannot lose.

There are so many questions I wanted to ask, but my own anger and frustration didn’t allow me with the short time I was given with this ‘wizard’. How exactly do I win? What happens if I lose? Will I be jaunted back to whatever ‘dimension’ I came from, or will I simply cease to exist? If I am destroyed, will I remain here enough to be remembered?

What happens to her if she loses? Does she die? Do I have to take a life? I don’t want that either.

In somewhat of a blur I pick up my helmet as the elevator doors open. There are people wandering about. In my distracted state, I don’t know or care where they are going. Several people pass me as I head toward the exit.

My shoulder collides with that of a young woman. The contact shatters my thought processes, and I focus on my surroundings again. She mutters “sorry” but doesn’t turn or seem all that disrupted by it. She is an average looking young woman, with long brown hair, wearing a long sweater and a skirt, and a large leather looking bag slung over one shoulder; nothing that screams extraordinary or even worth my attention.

But something catches my senses, and I don’t really know what it is.

I fasten my helmet in place as I take the steps down to the parking area in a brisk pace. Something feels very off; whispers of the strange man’s words echo in the back of my mind as my eyes dart around, looking for something, anything that could be causing the sensations that are growing ever more potent in my gut.

It almost feels like my internal organs are being ejected through my stomach. I’ll need to get back home and sort this out. I’m glad I still have my bike; it will be faster if I take the back roads…

“Sorei!”

The voice stops me in my tracks as a bright red sports car pulls up along the road. It hardly stops before Saeyoung jumps out from the driver’s seat. “Sorei run!”

He charges at me with such speed that I am actually shocked; his arm hooks around my midsection and I feel my feet lift off the ground just as I see my precious bike explode in a massive ball of fire.

The shockwave sends both of us flying; it is surprising since the bike wasn’t that large. Several cars and scooters parked nearby also went up in flames. Alarms were blaring, and people screamed in shock and awe.

We landed with a loud thud on the pavements; Saeyoung’s body covering mine as the explosion rained debris and burning bits down. I could hardly breathe.

A few seconds pass before he gets up and pulls me to my feet, shoves me gracelessly into the car and gets in, speeding off as fast as possible from the site.

“Saeyoung!” I scream, taking my helmet off. “We can’t leave!”

He is silent, dusted with ash and dirt. His eyes are focused straight ahead, and his hands grip the steering wheel so hard his knuckles are white.

“Saeyoung-“

“Shut up.” He chokes. “Just…shut up.”

The atmosphere is so dangerously explosive I wonder if he might be the next fireball I see. He is angry, I can feel it; you can see it in the way he clenches his jaw as his eyes scan the roads, taking turns too sharply, and looking straight ahead.

I want to say something. The throbbing in my head, the ringing in my ears, and the burning pain in my recovering scars prevents anything comprehensive to form on my lips. Instead I lean against the window, watching the city pass by.

This game is not fun. This is not what I signed up for. I couldn’t have been so desperate to put my life on the line willingly. Then again, I have no memory, just some notes and a recording made in the throes of pain to go on. This is not the life I had wanted.

Right?

It has brought me some good, but is it worth all of this? I got to meet the RFA members in person, when I had been only a bystander before; I am discovering my own way to live, when it was a waste before. My eyes wander back to Seven, his eyes scanning the roads, and his body beginning to look less tense than it had when the drive began.

There are no obvious injuries as I scan his body. Good. But why did he shield me like that? I am wearing much sturdier clothes, I’d be able to take the brunt of it better than jeans and a tee shirt. Oh, right. My stomach and shoulder burn and I prod the scars through my leathers, wincing but not feeling any fresh wounds.

My bike was fine, almost perfect even, when I parked. Those other vehicles were fine. Machines don’t just explode like that, taking out a chunk of pavement and destroying the awning.

Thoughts dart from idea to idea, memory to distant memory until we pull into the garage entrance. I should say something. After all, I did lie to him.

I should have been more careful.

The car is parked and he is pulling me from the passenger seat in a flash. He doesn’t feel angry now, not like he did; it is different. His palm is hot and a bit sweaty from gripping the leather steering wheel. His grip is tight around my wrist as he pulls me along, punching in codes and passwords, immediately relocking the doors as we go.

“Saeyoung,” I start quietly as we finally step into the main house. It is dark except for a light in the living room just out of my line of sight. I unzip my jacket, dropping it at my feet simply due to lack of dexterity and strength.

Suddenly he turns around, his arms wrapping around my upper body, squeezing my face into his chest. Saeyoung’s heart is beating so fast; and I can feel the dampness of his tee shirt on my cheek. He mutters something so quietly I cannot hear it with his body pressed against my face.

Then he starts to shake.

“Saeyoung, I’m sorry…” I whisper and wrap my arms around his body. “I am okay; it’s alright. I’m not hurt.”

His arms only grow stronger as the shaking increases a moment before starting to calm down. “Never go there again.” He whispers. “Promise me…”

I nod against him and his arms slowly release their hold on my body. He doesn’t release me though, not entirely.

One hand cups my cheek and before I can step away, his lips covet mine. He is so warm, gentle, soft, and in that one moment I can feel the fear he felt; tears start to form in my eyes, and I tighten the hold on his shirt.

What's going on? Why is he doing this? It must be too soon, right? What am I doing? I can’t help it. Inside my soul, the memories I cannot bring out ache and rejoice as this beautiful man’s lips linger on mine.

He pulls away, and disappears without a word, leaving a breath on my lips and so, so many questions.

One thing becomes crystal clear, despite my jumbled mind.

Whoever MC is…she means business.

And now, I have so much more worth fighting for.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a tendency to write really really really slow burn stories, and I am trying to not do that this time, for sake of my sanity. Please let me know though, if this is running too quickly, or if there are ideas you'd like me to include.  
> Thank you all again for continuing to read my fic; it really does mean the world to me that my content is enjoyed!


	5. Chapter 5

Standing in front of my bathroom mirror I stare through my own reflection.  What just happened?

He kissed me, duh.

But why?

Why was he so scared? How did he know where I was? How did he know about the bomb in the first place?

My fingers reach up and brush over my lips, as if searching for any trace of the kiss he had left me with. My lips were still too hot, tingling with sensation and totally devoid of any visible evidence of the intimate encounter with my roommate.

Hah, roommate.

Slowly I strip off my boots and pants, inspecting each item as closely as I could manage for any tears or damages. The tee shirt is untouched, and removing it and the bra beneath is a chore with how stiff my body is. My hair is tangled and loose leaves are still stuck in the strands of blonde hair.

In just panties, lit by the bright lights around the mirror, I almost chuckle. Bruises are forming on my arms and legs. My eyes are a bit wild, and I can see myself shudder beneath the bright lights.

I’m a hot mess.

I shed the last article of clothing before getting in the shower. It is as hot as I can manage.

All the questions swirling in my head like a hurricane, building a massive storm of in my mind. Can I really win?

Should I?

What do I do now? How can I continue when I have absolutely no resources?

I cannot just hide here. Surely she’ll find some way to get to me, even here.

Should I ask for help?

No.

But can I do it alone? There are so many people I need to look out for, and I don’t know that she won’t use them against me.

Could I take her life if I had to? What constitutes ‘have to’ in this case?

What do I need to do to keep everyone else out of it?

I need to burn away whatever this feeling is. I turn the cold water down.

Doubt. It’s consuming me.

I can’t let it get to me!

The click of my bedroom door opening barely registers over the pouring water. The sound makes me acutely aware of my inability to focus on my surroundings.

“Saeyoung?” I say cautiously as I turn off the water. I hear someone walking around on the carpet. It sounds like bare feet, dragging their heels, slowly stepping, as if they are looking around.

Saeyoung doesn’t walk like that.

Unfortunately I am a bit vulnerable, and without clothing in the bathroom. More importantly, I am once again without a weapon to defend myself.

Who the hell would get into Saeyoung’s house and come after me? How did they know where to go? Does MC really know the security well enough to sneak in here already? How did she get through without Saeyoung noticing?

I wrap a cream colored towel around my body, and as silently as possible, open the shower door. The footsteps continue as I make my way toward the closed bathroom door. My breath is hitched in my throat, and I consider for a moment just screaming until Saeyoung runs to me.

The footsteps stop suddenly, and I grip the door knob. With one yank, I pull the door open, and plaster the most convincing ‘don’t try’ expression on my face that I can muster.

There, sitting on my bed, is a redheaded man.

The tips of his hair still retain small bleached hairs. He is slighter framed, wearing a baggy sweater and jeans. For a moment I wonder if Saeyoung had colored his hair for some reason. It was shorter now, and not as curly, but the same flame red.

At the moment, his back is to me, and he is looking at my phone.

“Oi. What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I demand, trying to hide the shaking of my clenched fists.

The man turns. There are no glasses. His body is too thin, and…does Saeyoung even own a knit sweater like that?

He puts the phone down on the bed where I had discarded it earlier and a tint of pink lights up the apple of his cheeks. He turns back around and coughs lightly.

There is something about him that reminds me, and all at once I grow hot. “Saeran?”

He nods, His back to me. I realize now that the door is behind me, and he is in somewhat of a difficult position. “What are you doing in my room? More importantly, how did you get out of the hospital?”

  
“C-can you…um…” he mutters nervously.

Oh. Right. I’m naked.

I turn into my walk in closet and clumsily throw on the first sweatshirt and pajama pants that I find, and dry my hair with the towel as I exit. It isn’t a whole big improvement; I am sure it is very evident I am braless, but I am exhausted from the adrenaline overdoses from the day. When I reenter the room, Saeran is looking down at his hands, twisting and fidgeting in his lap.

“So, talk.”

He jumps up from my bed, looking down at his bare feet still. “I…um…wanted to say...” his voice is so quiet that if I didn’t see his lips move, I’d not have known he spoke at all.

I sigh involuntarily. “Saeran, relax. I’m not going to do anything. I am sorry I snapped at you, but I really cannot hear you.”

He looks up, and looks rather red faced. “I didn’t realize you were in the shower.” He says finally. It was still shaky and nervous. He was not malicious, but I can tell he is fighting the urge to storm off. The wild blushing of his face and ears made me think he was at risk of running off before telling me what he was doing in my personal space. “I came to say thank you. But I guess my _brother_ didn’t tell you.”

“No, he didn’t.” I toss the towel in the corner hamper. “He didn’t say much at all actually.”

Saeran’s lips just barely curled into a smug smile; his blush was gone. “Was I right?”

My eyes squint at him as I question his inquiry, “about what?”

“You went to her apartment. She came after you, huh?” his eyes lit up with something like excitement. “I was right, wasn’t I? Saeyoung was wrong.”

How can he be so happy about this? I was nearly blown to bits, which is not cool especially after I nearly died from _your_ hand!

“He was probably right, actually.” I grab the hairbrush that was on the nightstand and begin to detangle my hair, still wet, and leaving dark water marks on my sweatshirt. “After all, I did tell him I was not doing anything dangerous.”

What I had hoped to be a defense for Saeyoung immediately backfired. I could tell when Saeran’s smile turned to something of a “ah I knew it” smirk. “So you lied to him?”

I can’t deny it. But I’ll be damned if I agree with him.

“I had no idea that the apartment was still occupied. Since nobody has seen or heard from MC in months, I assumed it was vacant after Saeyoung deactivated the security system there.” I am glaring daggers and he casually takes a seat again on the foot of my bed, leaning back on his elbows. Sure, just make yourself comfortable.

“Ah, that was because I am a better hacker.” He laughs. I can’t tell if he is in his right mind, or if there is something else going on. “But that doesn’t matter, does it? I was still right.”

I am so tired of being jerked around by useless banter. “If you are going to talk to me, then be straight; I didn’t risk my life to be toyed with.”

He must have caught on to the frustration and anger in my voice, because he suddenly sits up, looking at me with a bit of surprise and confusion. “But you did, you’re in the game.”

“I didn’t know---wait, how did you know that?” I nearly drop the brush as the words sink in.

“Because MC told me, of course.” Saeran stands and looks at me a moment. “She doesn’t like you at all.”

“Why did you speak to her?” the words are out of me before I can think everything over.

“Because I wanted to know why…” he started. “Why she forced Rika…why she made her so bad, why she needed to use me.”

Suddenly I understood.

MC was the cause of Rika’s mental collapse. Sure, her disorder was always there, but something MC did is what caused it to go haywire, what made her go from not right, to…doing what she did to Saeran and countless others.

“Saeran,” I start. “I want to win. No, that’s not right. I _have_ to win, so if you know anything—“

“Saeran!” Saeyoung calls from the hall. He peeks in my room, looking rather frazzled and annoyed. “Saeran, what are you doing? I’m sorry Sorei, I was going to introduce you—“

He stops suddenly, his cheeks turning a bit red. “Saeran, we need to leave. Now.”

The twin heads to the door silently, pausing to whisper something to his brother before walking down the hall. Saeyoung’s face gets even redder and he looks rather angry.

“We need to talk.” He says, looking away from me. “Whenever you’re done.”

I nod and he leaves the room, closing the door behind him.

Can today get any more stressful?

I locate a more supportive top and discard the heavy sweatshirt for a lighter cardigan, before searching out Saeyoung. Just the thought of his name makes my face heat up; the kiss is still too fresh in my memory.

Saeran is seated in the living room, watching some show on gardening as I pass through to the hall. He doesn’t even flinch when I walk through, and his face is completely blank of expression. I check Seven’s ‘office’ first, and although the computers are all whirring away, and the heat in the room is proof that his entire network is working, he is not there.

The hallway, however, is lit by the bedroom light at the end. I swallow hard and exhale a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. Instinctively I bundle the cardigan around my body, hiding away the tank top beneath, and offering me some sort of semblance of protection against his prying eyes.

My hand taps at the door softly, and I hear a faint voice within. I stele my nerves and push the door open. He’s sitting in the chair before the computer in the corner, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He readjusts the glasses on his face before taking a few swallows of Dr. Pepper from the can by the mouse-pad.

“Saeyoung?” I say quietly. He gets up and his body language immediately shouts ‘awkward’. “What’s wrong?”

He sighs as if to calm his nerves. I have never known him to be the nervous type. I didn’t know he was capable of this emotion.

“Sorry.” His eyes are cast down, and he rubs the back of his neck as if to ease tension in his shoulders. “For…you know, earlier, in the hall…”

My cheeks flush immediately. “O-oh.”

God I’m pathetic. What kind of answer is that?

“It must have been, you know, adrenaline or something.” He continues, but honestly it sounds like an excuse.

“Saeyoung, just stop there.” I say finally. He looks up at me, questioningly. I sigh and smile. “I really didn’t mind that.”

He laughs a little, looking a bit relieved. “Really? You—I mean, I didn’t overstep did I? I was afraid you—“

“Stop, really. You didn’t do anything wrong in my eyes.” My cheeks are burning up. “I was…just a bit shocked.” My fingers are fiddling with the pattern knit into the cardigan. “It was unexpected.”

I only barely register he is moving closer to me when his hand reaches up to brush a rogue piece of hair behind my ear. “I was worried.”

He is being abnormally sentimental. My chest tightens and my eyes are glued to him. “I gathered. I’m sorry I worried you.”

“Never, ever do that again,” he whispers, his fingers trailing down my cheek toward my lips. “If you want to investigate, take me with you. I don’t know what I’d do if you…” his eyes scanned my chest, lingering on the area of my shoulder where the scar ached. Where his eyes roamed my skin felt like fire.

I want to embrace him. Every fiber of my being wants to touch him. But for some reason, I don’t. “I can’t ask you to. It will only make things worse.”

He nods as if knowing that was the answer I was going to say. He heaves a heavy sigh and smiles softly, dropping his hand and stepping back. “I figured you’d say something like that.”

I laugh nervously, still unsure of what to tell him. Even though he has stayed at my side since I woke up, and allowed me to live in his house, I still feel like I barely know him; I don’t know how he will react to what I know.

He might think it is exciting, help me and we’d make the perfect nameless duo.

He also might lock me in the room, and be totally capable of keeping me there.

No, I can’t risk that. He can protect himself, and his brother, maybe V and Rika too, to some extent he can help with the other RFA members, but with me…No, I’ll be on my own.

Like always.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know yet what is happening. I am sure that Saeran told you things that I don’t know yet, and I am sure I was told some things today that you don’t know. But…please trust me.

I was asked to help with a new problem when I woke up in the hospital. This is the problem; if I ask for help, I risk all of the RFA and everything the members know, as well as my own life. I cannot let that happen.”

He stares at me, eyes blurred with moisture, and his eyebrows furrowed in thought. “I wish you’d tell me anyway. This was my job for years; you have no training, no direct contact with MC…”

He paces back and forth as he talks, muttering in the pauses between sentences. It is as if he is still trying to plan assistance to a colleague. “Saeyoung, stop.” I say it sternly. He has to stop thinking about it. Maybe it is the tone of my voice, but it almost seems to shut him down for a moment. He stares at me, wide eyed and I leap at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and burying myself in his collar.

“Sorei…”

“Saeyoung, please. Today has been too long, too much information, too much emotion, just…too much. Just sleep on it, okay? Imagine if you were in my position for a moment and ask yourself what you’d do.” I want to feel him, I want him to stop shaking and feel comforted in my arms. I want to protect him and everything he wants and loves. But how can I stop someone who is as stubborn as him?

His arms wrap around me and I feel him exhale; his breath is hot and trails into my hair and down my spine. His lips run from the collar of my sweater to the base of my neck, feeling the smooth bare skin of my shoulder with his lips.

“Saeyoung,” I whisper, as a shiver of desire shudders down my spine. I may have made a mistake. Did I just give myself into the beast? No, no way; Saeyoung is no beast…right? But he is obviously no saint either. I am not so modest as not to take the opportunity to satisfy these desires with a man I have been attracted to for…a long time. Could I really be okay with myself if I followed through with this?

Can I really deny that he has obviously become attracted to me?

“Hm?” he hums. The reverberating hum resonates in my chest and my core coils in anticipation. His lips continue up my neck, they don’t kiss, they don’t lick, just drag feather soft up my neck.

What am I doing? What is he feeling? Is it possible that my feelings from before the hospitalization are actually returned? Or am I just a rebound for that woman he had managed to fall for?

Do I care right now?

“P-please…” I start to say something, but in that moment he decides to kiss a spot on my neck that turns me into jelly. A moan escapes me and my fingers curl, gripping his shirt with what strength my knees have abandoned. This can’t be a good idea.

But god does it feel good.

“Hm? He asks again. He must feel the way my body has gone languid in his arms. He must have heard that sweet noise that escaped me. He cannot be so dense to not know what he’s doing to me. He is smarter than that. And this isn’t his first rodeo.

We both know that.

“Saeyoung…” I feel like I just keep saying his name and not getting anywhere. He backs me against the wall, gently but firmly and begins to kiss and bite my neck and collar with something of a curious fury; I cannot tell if he is more explorative or desperate.

This isn’t a good idea.

I KNOW it is a bad idea.

I can’t get too close yet, for their safety, for his safety, I have to remain distant or…

God in heaven right now I almost don’t care.

My body moves against the better judgment of my fading sanity. I feel my hips grind against him, and I feel the responding hardness develop just beneath his restricting jeans, and the fury of which he tastes my skin. I can feel his pulse through his chest; I can almost hear the pace of his heartbeat, and it thrums almost as rapidly as my own.

A loud knock at the door suddenly jars the senses back into Saeyoung. He stands abruptly, his face bright red and his glasses just a little fogged up.

“Saeyoung! It’s me. I’m hungry, and there’s nothing to eat!” Saeran calls from the other side of the door.

Saeyoung sighs, pushes his glasses into place and leans back from the wall, but not letting my arms go. “I’ll be there in a sec, let me finish what I’m doing.”

Saeran laughs, and mumbles something that I can only assume is a jab at me being in the locked room with his brother, before his footsteps sound down the hall back toward the living room. I sigh unintentionally, and a weak nervous laugh escapes just after.

“Well, that’s gonna be awkward.” I whisper, still against the wall.

His eyes immediately focus back on me, and he leans in. My eyes close instinctively and his lips are again on mine, but only for a moment before he releases his hold. “I’ll never live this down…” He whispers with a grin. “But I regret nothing.”

Saved. Almost. My legs are wobbly, but I adjust my clothes, smooth down my hair and hope I don’t look like I was just about to be ravished.

My heart is thumping in my ears. My brain is a mess of tangled thoughts, emotions, warnings, and pain.

This cannot happen again. And that thought alone breaks my heart.

He paces around, and I get a good look at him as he focuses; it is very clear that he was wildly turned on, and he has to sort of bounce around a little to release the tension in his groin area. How he could be so sexually charged after the day we had…I guess I can’t blame him, I wasn’t exactly mild myself.

I stare at him, a little dumbfounded. This turnaround of emotions has my head reeling. “Saeyoung, what…what was…”

“Sorry, can we talk about it later?” he says. “I’m not sure…I can right now.” He fixes his hair and heads toward the door. “You want something to eat?”

I laugh, “yeah, sure. But I have a feeling I’ll be the one to cook.”

In the end, I did. And it was delicious.

~~

With a little time, and a hot tea after dinner, I manage to secure a document in my laptop that Saeyoung and his equally talented brother Saeran cannot easily penetrate. There, I begin to plan.

I don’t have the time I need.

And now, more than ever, I don’t have the option to loose.

My fingers run across my lips subconsciously. Even now I can still barely feel the lingering tingle of energy from his kiss. I smile a little, remembering the sensation of his hands pinning mine against the wall; the firmness of his domination, and how good it felt to simply…submit.

I shake my head violently; enough of that! I have work to do if I ever expect to revisit that situation again.

Okay, start with basic searches; find her social media, her phone records, her number, address is already known…

I could tap into her phone perhaps, maybe make a duplicate so I can hear the calls she makes…

A sudden knock at the door to snaps me to reality again. I jump from my bed and walk calmly to the door.

Seven is there, looking tired, with his phone in his hand. “Something’s come up.”

He walks into my room, sitting in a chair in the corner, while I sit on the corner of my bed. “What happened? Did she come back?”

He sighs, rubbing his eyes and almost melts into the chair. He looks so tired.

I should have been more careful.

“Sorei…”

The tone of his voice brings me back to him. He stands, sitting beside me. I quickly shut the laptop and he sighs silently. “I just got off the phone with V. But that…wasn’t all I wanted to talk about. God this is always getting so messed up! Sorry, maybe this is a bad idea--”

He gets up and goes to leave. I grab his arm, stopping him before he gets to the door. Something in me is telling me that whatever it is, it is just about destroying him. “Just say it. Blunt, straight to the point. You won’t hurt me. I promise I won’t get mad. Just…”

I don’t care what he does to me; all I care is that he is safe, happy…

The muscles in his arm tense beneath my grip. For a moment I see him go through emotions I couldn’t quite decipher. He nods, standing over me. My hand slips from his arm and his shoulders finally relax a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeran just couldn't stay consistent with his personality, no matter how often I rewrote this chapter.   
> And Saeyoung won't stop being awkward around Sorei. I tried to make it less awkward, but it just wouldn't sound right.  
> This chapter was starting to drag on, so sorry it kinda ends abruptly. The next chapter should be done soon.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was part of the last chapter, but it started getting too long.   
> Again, thank you everyone for reading~!  
> NSFW coming soon. As soon as Saeyoung and Sorei stop being so awkward and just get to it.

“Saeyoung?” My voice is trying to give out to the tension in the air.

“I found…some information. “ He sits down beside me, looking at his hands. “About Mc.”

“Oh? Anything useful?” I ask, as if he would know what was useful to me right now.

“Maybe. I don’t know. It is frustrating. Saeran told me some weird things; but I can tell he didn’t tell me everything,” he sighs, and rubs his neck to soothe the stress building in the muscles of his shoulders and neck. “I didn’t want you going off on your own until I found out more. Then V had to drop a bombshell today too.”

“I know Saeran knows something; he said MC told him what is going on, and it sounds like he helped hide her for a while…” I answer. “But don’t stress out, we’ll be fine! I’ll figure this out, just like before, yeah?”

He looks at me with a weary expression, “Yeah, you’re right. Or you would be, if V hadn’t decided that we need to hold another party now.”

My mouth drops open. Surely he can’t be serious? V is not so dense to the situation, and even if he was, where is Jumin and his cold, hard, merciless logic? They were the ones that brought me into this situation to begin with!

This can’t be real life. This scenario is right out of a bad television show or made for TV movie. Throwing a hugely publicized event when there is someone after us…

Well, after me, I suppose. But that puts all of them at risk, having everyone in one place.

“Seriously?”

He nods, and falls back, laying on my bed with his legs off the side. I watch the hem of his shirt lift a little as his arms fall over his head. The shirt just falls short of exposing his stomach.

Focus!

“He won’t change his mind, I take it? This is utterly ridiculous timing. I assume you would have tried—“

“Of course I tried to talk him out of it!” He groaned.

“Saeyoung, don’t snap at me. I am not to blame here,” I am trying to remain calm, but honestly, the proximity to his body, on my bed, after the evening we had…

“Sorry. I…I am just so tired of this. First with MC, now this…I am so tired.” He takes his glasses off and his arm folds over his eyes. I can’t help but watch the rise and fall of his chest, and the gentle quake of his tired body. “I just…want it to be quiet. Why can’t everyone just stay safe? Why…”

He is worried about me.

Obviously.

How could I not realize that, after that kiss?

“Saeyoung, it’s okay.” I lift his arm, exposing his closed eyes. I lean on my other elbow, facing him. “I’ll fix this, don’t worry.” I am laying on my side now, looking somewhat down on Saeyoung lying on my bed. He is so close to me, and I could kiss him again, but it really isn’t appropriate right now.

This really isn’t real life, right?

His eyes open just a little, and focus on my face. “Sorei, can…can I be selfish?” he whispers, brushing rogue hairs from my forehead. “Just once…”

“That sounds more like a question for your god, rather than a broken woman,” I reply. Something about his question rings familiar with me. Perhaps it was something that was mentioned in the original game I referred to before. The thought of that sentence makes something sickening curl in my heart. Jealousy? Ah…

Maybe he said it to MC before.

“I don’t think He’s listening. That’s why everything just goes wrong. Now I’m asking you.” His voice is so solid, sure, and devoid of hesitation. My heart aches that his faith has fallen so low.

But he has said this to another woman too; being selfish with a woman, that is. I don’t like that thought. My lips still taste a little like his, and somehow that just makes it worse. He kissed MC with these lips too…

Then again, he has asked for so little, and the only answer he’s received was this false love from MC.

I am going to touch him. I want to. I can almost hear him calling to just be held. I search his face for something to stop me; some wrinkle of doubt to make my body and heart listen to my mind. But no, he looks at me with such passion, such genuine and extreme yearning.

I know it is a bad idea. I know it. At the same time, there is just a little break somewhere in my subconscious; it is almost physical, and a dull ache starts in my head, like something I had almost forgotten coming back to remind me.

“You deserve to be selfish sometimes, Saeyoung,” I whisper, taking the glasses from his fingers and sliding them to the far end of the bed to avoid damage. “And I am honored that you want to be selfish with me.”

That doesn’t sound right. God I hate my own mouth sometimes! I want to take it back, I want to say what I really feel; it is so much deeper than anything I could have said.

He laughs a little, attempting to cover his eyes again. Of course I move his arm away before it settles across his face again. “That…wasn’t the answer I was expecting. Somehow, that’s just like you.”

“Saeyoung, shut up, you know that’s not what I wanted to say,” I answer a little huskier than I meant, and kissed him. It isn’t as hurried, but this kiss is just as hungry as the last; his pace is slow, as if he is taking his time. One arm wraps around my waist, holding me tight to his side, while the other winds in my hair, still damp and cold on my neck. The electric sensations his touch leaves on my skin are addicting and unique, and I want nothing else but to feel them forever.

For a moment, I remember.

My heart tightens, my head rings with pain and every thought I had about this man before my accident comes flooding back.

_Tell him I loved him…_

It was repeating in my mind like a mantra as I pressed myself against him, as if the closeness will somehow be able to portray the emotions that are aflame in my head. Tears form in my eyes, and drop off my cheeks onto his.

The warm tears on his face must have alarmed him; he pulls away, taking his hand away from my hair to brush the trail the tear had taken down my flushed cheeks. In his amber eyes I see my own eyes clearly; I see recognition, I see a thousand sensations buried in my own eyes as they stare into his. His eyes soften more, and for a second I think he can read every thought I have.

“Sorei, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…” he whispers, brushing away the tear.

I laugh this time, the pain is nearly overwhelming, but the feeling of memories flooding back, emotions filling the hole in my heart, that was a sensation that words could not describe. The feeling was so strong that I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. I just shake my head against his palm.

I loved him; I wanted him to be happy then too. I failed. She should have taken care of him…

“I…just remembered…” I choke between silent sobs. “I just remembered you.”

This time he sits up, looking at me with something of a cross of expectation and curiosity. “Why are you crying then? I don’t understand,” he wraps his arms around me, my face burying into his chest. I can feel his chin on the top of my head. For a minute this warmth is all I can think about. The tears still fall, but slowly the pain starts to dull as my mind stretches to accommodate the returning memories.

I don’t know how long I sit in his arms, rocked back and forth until my breathing normalizes and my eyes feel heavy. “I’m sorry,” I whisper eventually.

Something is driving me to tell him. I didn’t get to before, and in case I don’t win this, he needs to know. I have to tell him that I loved him—no, I still love him.

I can hear him chuckle a little, “for what? Did you get slobber all over my shirt or something?”

“For what I am about to say,” I say, pulling myself from his arms just a little. He still has a little playful smile on his lips, but a flash of worry does dance across his eyes.

He watches me intently, and it feels like these moments last for days. “Saeyoung, I…”

His chest shakes as if he lets out a breath while crying, but maybe it was just held for so long it gave out. A gentle fingertip stops my words by resting on my lips. I want to tell him. I didn’t have the chance before. But the smile that he gives me is the most beautiful thing in the world. His lips press a soft kiss on my hairline and he lets me go.

The fire of self-doubt starts to burn in my mind for just a second before he pulls me to lie properly on the bed. Saeyoung’s arms pull me close, wrapping around my torso, and forcing me to lie on his chest. His heart is going so fast. How did I not notice this before?

“Don’t say it, not yet,” he says finally.

No other words were spoken. What I thought would be a dramatic bombshell turns out to be…not.  I am somewhat dumbfounded, because of his insistence at stopping my confession. Maybe the shock of everything is muted because of pure emotional and physical overload?

The steady rhythm of Saeyoung’s heartbeat under my head begins to lull my senses into a warm, comfortable haze. Despite my questions, the worries, and the halted conversations, I can’t help but fall into a deep sleep, thinking little more than how nice he smells, and the tingling sensations in my skin where his hand caresses my back.

~~

My bed is cold when I wake up.

After our intimate talk, it had become something of a habit to sit up talking nightly, and most often he’d fall asleep next to me, or I by him. His bed was admittedly far more comfortable than my own, but I think that was partially due to the fact that mine was new and not broken in.

Still, despite this closeness, our intimacy had never crossed that hard ‘kissing only’ line, much to my dismay. Yes, there was ample kissing and heavy petting, and more than once it got hot enough that we almost went further; however something always seems to hold him back. I respect his ability to stop himself, and his control over his very human urges is admirable.

Yet I still longed for it; especially after the memories of him returned.

It’s been a week since that night, and the party is in two days. I don’t understand why V is insisting that we have a small party now, rather than waiting a little longer and doing it right. If I had more time, I could do the job Rika used to; with my memories still resembling Swiss cheese, I can’t be of much help.

I am wondering about the blank spaces left in my memory as I rise from bed. It isn’t terribly uncommon for Saeyoung to be gone when I wake in the morning, which is strange since he stays up so late at night. After a brief shower, change of clothes, and a handful of vitamins, I make my way to the kitchen. The house is silent and the lights are out. Even the dim lights from the office were darkened now, and the constant hum of his computer network was eerily silent.

It’s already 9 am. Are they both sleeping? Seems early for Saeyoung to be up.

I make a cup of coffee. Every action sounds thunderous in the deafening silence. Nothing made noise. It is raining outside, and a deep fog has rolled in during the night. It seems strangely out of season for such weather, but more than that, why isn’t anyone up yet?

Attached to Saeyoung’s bedroom door is a note reading he went out to gas up one of his ‘babies’, and run errands before it gets ‘too late’.

I make an extra cup of coffee, mix extra sugar and milk in it, and walk toward Saeran’s room. I don’t know why I assume he’d want really sweet coffee, but whatever.

“Saeran? You up?” I call tapping lightly on his door.

Nothing.

“Saeran?” I call again. It is so strange how quiet the house is.

The door creaks open into the darkened bedroom.  The light from the hall falls onto the bed, which was made and looked as if it had not been touched. Was Saeran the type to make his bed upon waking? The room was cold; I would have expected it to be even a little warm when someone has been sleeping in it all day.

I flick on the light switch with my elbow. The room is probably the cleanest in the house. What small personal items of that Saeran had were all organized and almost obsessively placed. It was obvious he wasn’t in here.

All is fair; he went in my room.

I put the hot mug of coffee on the side table and go into the bathroom. The sink and shower were both bone dry. His toothbrush was still in its holder in the medicine cabinet, also dry to the touch. Funny, he is usually so OCD about hygiene

Somehow that doesn’t seem likely.

Saeran’s shoes are not in the closet, nor are they by the front door; the only shoes by the garage/back door are Saeyoung’s. Saeran’s wallet is gone, as is his phone and keys. The room is obviously unused.

A sickening lump is forming in my stomach. Something is very wrong.

I check the small garden area, the roof, every room, the office again, even sit down at the CCTV hub in the office and ran through every angle of every camera. I find nothing and no one.

All these things, small and insignificant on their own build up into one huge, huge problem.

Saeran is missing; probably has been since last night.

Really, has MC done it? Has she broken in? Or has Saeran simply walked away? Some combination? There can’t be any coincidences right now; this is too soon, too close to the accident to just be a random occurrence.

Now…do I ask Saeyoung first? Maybe I am just inventing a situation when there isn’t one. Maybe they went out together for a drive? Can I afford to be lax right now?

No, no I cannot.

I don’t have the time to call Saeyoung; I don’t want MC to get her drugs into Saeran now. I won’t let her ruin him again.

Dressing and running to the garage is something of a blur. Furthermore I don’t know how I came to find the keys to one of Saeyoung’s cars. I am jumping in the driver’s seat by the time my head clears enough to realize what I am doing.

Sorry Seven, but this is an emergency.

The engine roars to life. I can feel the power beneath my feet. With the code entered and the door opening to the street, I am off.

At this point I am mostly driving aimlessly. I hadn’t thought of looking up a place to go before I left the house. The car is driving itself almost, as I head toward the city.

“One New Message” says an automated voice that sounds something like how a cat would talk. The small screen on the dashboard connected to my phone. I knew I should have turned off Bluetooth. “Read it meow?”

“Yeah, sure.” I answer absently.

What comes up on the screen is obviously GPS coordinates. The sender is a number I don’t know, and there is nothing more than just the numbers on screen. This is too fishy; it is almost too coincidental to be anything other than a hack.

Hack…

Saeran was messing with my phone when I met him yesterday. He is as talented as his brother, and has no filters when it comes to privacy. Saeran knows what is going on; he knows MC’s intentions…

Could this be Saeran’s doing?

“Set GPS coordinates on screen.” I order the computer, and it meows in response as the directions show on the monitor.

“Turn left meow!” the voice says and I swerve sharply, but the car seems to barely notice it. “Go straight for six miles, meow!”

I focus on the rain-slicked road. I really wish I had the attention and multitasking ability that Saeyoung does. I need to figure out what this location is, but I don’t want to risk ruining this car. I don’t have any tools, no weapons, just my phone and my own brain. It worked before, it will have to work now.

“I’m coming Saeran. Sit tight.” I mutter to myself and follow the directions without fail, speeding significantly faster than I ever would have in my own right mind.

~~

Two hours later I am at what remains of the Mint Eye headquarters.

“Your destination is ahead of you, meow!”

The voice is starting to get a little irritating. I turn off the engine and step out of the now very dusty vehicle. It seems like years since I visited this place last; half of the building is roped off, where some vandals had burned part of it down, and there was some poorly painted graffiti on the front end of the house. Most of the windows were smashed and the place looked painfully empty.

Except for one small detail; the front door.

Hanging on the knob was Saeran’s black sweatshirt.

“Shit.” I mutter and open the trunk of the car to search for any sort of weapon. The best that was in there was a tire jack, and frankly I am a little surprised it even had that. Of course the car was spotless and empty, aside from the tool; I didn’t even see a spare. Then again, do these cars even carry spare tires in them?

A loud shattering of glass stops my train of thought, as I see movement from the third story. I don’t think I ever went up that far, in the notes I took before. Cautiously I approach the front door and grab a scrap pipe from the doorway; it will have to do as a weapon.

The house is silent aside from the wind whistling through the broken panes of glass. This is a bad idea. I know it is dangerous, but if Saeran is hurt, or if MC has tried to take him…

The sound of creaking floorboards grabs my attention and my eyes dart to the top of the darkened staircase.

It’s now or never.

My bike boots are not meant for sneaking, but despite this, I do my best to avoid making any unnecessary sounds. The second story is darker than the first, and I do not see any immediate signs of movement. 

Scanning the second floor yields no clues. I see no evidence of Saeran or MC having been there, and the third floor also gives similar results. What could have made the noise earlier?

Is there a basement? Could someone have made it from the third floor to the basement while I was outside? My feet carry me to the basement stairs before I have a chance to consider it further. This is significantly darker, and the moisture in the air is nauseating.

At the base of the stairs I can see a faint light flickering up the last two steps. It is yellow in color, and the intensity changes as I watch it; firelight? From the brightness, I’d say a candle or small lantern is lit in the room below, and I can see something obstructing the light and casting a series of thin shadows.

“Come in, Sorei, don’t be shy.”

The sound of her voice immediately sends intense shivers down my spine; not the pleasant shivers from someone’s touch, but the sort that sets your instincts off, and that tell your feet to turn and run, and makes your heart freeze solid in an instant.

She knows I’m here. I wasn’t careful enough!

With what pride and courage I could muster I straighten up and descend the last few stairs. The basement was something like a jailhouse, or better yet, a dungeon once. The shadows I had seen were thick bars from cells that lined either side of the large basement. A long, solid wooden table stretched the length of the room, and atop that was the candelabra, from which the light was emanating.

At the far end of the table was MC; her head rested atop one of her delicate hands, and the most evil grin was spread across her face. Her eyes were dark and I couldn’t help but wonder if evil itself had possessed her body, because she would have been so beautiful before.

“Well, well, finally decided to join the party, Sorei? I was starting to think you wouldn’t come.” Her voice sounded syrupy sweet, but my stomach churned at the sound, and I watched her lips curl further into such a devilish grin that I winced in spite of my strength.

“Where is Saeran,” I demand as calmly as I can. My fingers are numb from gripping the pipe too hard. I can see the walls of the basement clearly, and I see no evidence of him being here. “What have you done with him?”

She laughs and leans back in the chair she is reclining in. “Where indeed…Why should I tell you, ghost? What good would it do me if my pet gets away?”

My anger suddenly bursts through, and my face is very hot at the sound of her voice. “Your pet? Saeran has suffered enough from your hand, you selfish bi-“

“Now, there’s no need for profanity. I understand you peasant upbringign don’t teach civilized conversation, but truly, it is just us here. There’s nobody to impress with your foul tongue.” MC laughs and stands, running her fingers along the table. “Now, what do you want to do, hmm? Is pathetic little Saeran so important to you? Oh dear, what shall we tell Saeyoung then? His brother has won the girl?”

“Shut up, you have no idea what you are talking about.” She laughs at my reply and folds her arms in front of her chest, looking at me expectantly. “Saeran is not pathetic, nor is he little. Most importantly he and the rest of the RFA are not your private playthings!”

“Oh? Do you really think so? He seemed more than ready to be my plaything before,” she sneers.

“Perhaps had he not been drugged up on whatever concoction you poisoned him with, he would be less willing,” I grumble. I have to remain cool; I need to figure a way out for Saeran. He is important; he is the one that matters here. Saeyoung will find another love if I die, but he cannot replace his brother.

 “It sure would be a shame if something terrible were to befall him, hmm?” She eyes me as she sits back down. “The question you need to ask yourself, you little pest, is if I have it in me to do something this…cliché. Do I really have the nerve to hurt another person just to get my way.” She taps her chin in mock contemplation. “In fact, I am well prepared to do whatever I need to get what I want.”

Thousands of possibilities surge through my thoughts. Is he captive here? Is he hurt? Could she have killed him already? Is it possible he is actually alive and well and this is a trap? That is possible, I suppose; she could have taken these things and Saeran could be with his brother. She knew I would not contact Saeyoung before heading here. I am too easy to read. But what is it?

“Don’t believe me?” She laughs and returns to her seat, and pulls something off the floor, tossing it on the table between us. It is the jacket from the door and the shoes Saeran was missing from his room. He only had the one pair missing; which means he is barefoot and without a jacket.

I have no options. If I attack her, she’ll never tell me where he is, and if he is hurt he could perish before I ever had the chance to get him help; Saeyoung would never forgive me, or himself if that were to happen. “What do I need to do to get him back?”

The look on her face is that of triumph. “Simple. I’ll tell you where to get him, and in exchange you will come to a specific location at the time I tell you.”

“That’s too simple.” I mutter, mostly to myself. It is a trap. I won’t make it out alive, I just know it.

“Oh, but it is, my dear. Don’t worry, you can’t get out of it, if you try to change your mind. If you tell anyone of this, I’ll kill the RFA. If you try to run, I’ll kill the RFA. If you defy me in any way, or try anything at all to change this, I. Will. Kill. Them.” She looks mad, but her joy is palpable.

This can’t be good. But she has had Saeran and his skills at her disposal for who knows how long; she could have other people working for her now too. Do I really have the option to chance it?

I drop the pipe. I have lost.

“Where is he?”

She slides a piece of paper forward, and I retrieve it without hesitation. On the paper is an address in the shipping district of the city. “Best hurry, pets don’t do well alone in dark spaces.” She sneers and I book it out of the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am running out of steam with this story. If it is sounding rushed, I apologize. I am wanting it done before I work seriously on any other pieces.   
> As always I am eternally grateful to all my readers, and please drop me a comment if you have any ideas, commissions or prompts you'd like me to write.
> 
> <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **NSFW**  
> :3  
> Okay, so this chapter finally finished and I couldn't help but get it posted a little early. Welcome to the roller-coaster known as the final chapters!

The rain has only gotten worse as I speed toward the address I was given. As I get back into cell range, my phone is ringing off the hook. The screen in the car tells me it is mostly Saeyoung, but V, Zen, and even Jumin all call.

I don’t have time or patience to answer the phone while driving. “Create text message,” I tell the computer.

“Okay, what do you want to say, meow?”

“Sorry I took the car. I’ll explain when I get back.” I say. The text appears on the screen.

“Like this, meow?”

“Yes. Send to Seven.” I tell it.

“Okay, meow!”

At least he’ll know where I am. Hell, if I could hack into his GPS system, I am sure he has his eyes on it already. He’s way better at using the computer knowledge he has that I am.

The fog is nearly impenetrable. By the time the car comes to a stop in front of a dilapidated, rust red storage hanger, I can hardly see ten yards in front of the car. I don’t close the door as I run out into the rain and toward the open hanger door.

“Saeran!?” I call into the dark. I hear a muffled groan nearby, and spot a shadowed mass on the cold cement floor. A patch of reddish hair catches in the light of my cell phone flashlight and I run to him. He’s gagged, bound, and shivering. He’s still damp, and obviously tired. “Saeran, are you alright? Are you hurt?” I ask as I work to untie the gag from his head. He nods and doesn’t struggle against the bindings. “Damn it, that woman…she didn’t give you anything, did she? No more medicine, no potions or any of that bullshit?”

“No,” He groans as the gag comes out. “Just a solid hit to the head.”

It takes a few minutes to get the bindings off of his hands and feet. I work in silence until I can help him to his feet. “I suppose I should have asked if anyone else was here.”

He smiles and winces from the pain. “Just get us out of here.” I nod and shuffle him to the passenger side of the car. He seems to chuckle in spite of the pain, “You stole Saeyoung’s car? Are you mad? He’s gonna kill you.”

“Not like it was hard to do, you know.” I reply as I shut the door and race around to the driver’s side and put the car into gear before I even get the seatbelt on. “Plus, I think I’ll have a pass on taking his car.”

He raises an eyebrow suspiciously. “Hmm? You think you are above his wrath?”

“No, I think you are,” I answer simply. “And you have explaining to do before we get there, so start talking.”

“You aren’t going to answer that?” He asks pointing to the screen. It’s Saeyoung…again. He has a smile on his face like he is playing some sort of prank on his brother.

“No, I am not. Do you not know how hard it is to drive in a sports car in this weather? I can’t see worth shit!” I grumble at him as I adjust in my seat and put the belt on. “Talk damn it!”

He rubs his head and proceeds to tell me about how he fell into the situation he had. Yes, he put that address in my phone, presumably because he didn’t think I’d remember the address otherwise. He had gone back there to look for some hidden USB flash drive with the content he had given to MC saved on it. When he was there, she ambushed him and had him tied up and carried off by some paid thugs to the hanger.

By the time his rather non-descript story was done, we were pulling into the garage entrance. I didn’t get the chance to ask him what was on that drive, but I could guess, based on what Saeran told me, that it was going to be used against me. At the very least, I could expect more drugs, possibly violent gangs to fight through…or worse.

I had the distinct impression there was something involving weapons on the drive. Saeran would be plenty capable of programming such a device, and making it simple enough for MC or her lackeys to plant wherever they needed it.

Like the RFA Fundraiser in just over a day.

Saeyoung was standing by the pillar marking the car’s parking space, with his arms crossed and his face pale. I did my best not to look at him as I jumped from the car to help Saeran out. I could hear my darling hacker complain against my blatant attempt to ignore his angry protests, until he saw the trickle of dried blood that ran down Saeran’s neck from the hit to the head.

“Saeyoung, shut up.” Saeran groans as he leans on me. He has either gotten weaker during the car ride, or he is truly hamming it up to make it look like his condition is worse than it is. He was talking just fine moments ago, but perhaps he has a concussion?

“What the…what happened?” Saeyoung hurries to get his other arm, but Saeran is quick to swat him away. The action seems to disappoint Saeyoung, but he instead rushes to get the door open for us.

“We’ll talk later, right now I want to get his head checked out and he needs some warm food, and probably sleep.” I say quietly, turning away from Saeran’s ear. Even if he is making it look worse, I am sure his head is ringing as it is.

“Oh, uh yeah. Yeah of course. I’ll get the kit.” He hurries off down the hall and I continue to lift Saeran toward the living room.

“Be careful, Sorei.” He whispers as he falls onto the couch and sighs. “Worry about yourself for once. I’ll be okay, just let him fuss a bit and I’ll go to my room.”

“But…are you sure?” I ask, bending over and reaching for his hair. He swats my hand away just as he had his brother, and glares at me. “Alright, I get it. Sorry. Just ice it, okay? And I have some ibuprofen if you need it.”

He waves me off as his brother comes back into the room. I almost collapse onto the recliner and watch as Saeyoung tends to the small cut on Saeran’s scalp, trying to scold him nicely. It really sounds silly, but I don’t want to say anything out loud. It doesn’t take long for Saeran to get fed up with the mothering and insist on just going to bed. Somehow, it didn’t occur to me until now, that if I was alone with Saeyoung, I’d have to explain what was going on.

“I’ll head to bed too, actually. It’s been a long day.” I announce as Saeran stands to leave too. He looks at me with a ‘don’t you dare’ sort of expression before I exit the room.

I research some, on what information I could dig up from the easily accessible files on Saeyoung’s computers. Asking him now what he knew about the mysterious and dangerous woman seems a little…trying. With Saeran injured and, no doubt, telling my hacker everything he could comfortably say about the matter, the prospects of a calm conversation seems rather impossible.

While my facial recognition program began, I went to shower. I don’t have much time to clean up before the program is finished, so I’ll need to hurry. Sure, I have her last known address, phone number, birthdate, blood type, even her parents name and birth place.

Yes, she was native here; she was born just inside one of the richest neighborhoods in the city. Her father was something of a well-known plastic surgeon, and her mother is a lawyer. Everything I could find indicated she had a life of luxury; perhaps not to the extent of Jumin or V, but she could want for little while growing up. She attended some private schools, including a year in Paris, and another in New York City; and began attending courses at a university, all expenses paid of course.

My head is filled with questions as I turn the water off and dress. In my haste I had grabbed very little in the means of clothes to change into; a light weight tee shirt that fell baggy on my torso, and a pair of thin silky pajama pants. No matter, I will be hunkering down for the night in front of my laptop anyway.

I must have turned out the lights in my bedroom, or perhaps I had forgotten to turn them on earlier, due to my distraction. Slowly I make my way to the corner of the room where I know my desk rests, and on it, a small lamp that should light the room well enough, and flick it on.

Immediately a figure is rushing at me from behind the bathroom door. Maybe it’s instinct, maybe it’s habit, but I bow out of the way of a blow toward my chest, leaning back and into the hallway a little. A rough gloved hand grabs my wrist, and yanks me into the room.

The force sends me careening through the office area in my room. I land on the floor by one of the chairs as I hear the deadbolts on the bedroom door latch shut. My heart is pounding in my ears, and my eyes dart around the room a moment before I start to stand.

The same figure pulls me up by my hair; I manage to wedge one hand at the base of my hair, to ease the pull from the strong hand in my still wet hair. I buck and kick at him, but he is practiced and keeps me well from reach. Instead I reach up and grab his wrist, and twist down and behind him, bending his arm at a sharp angle behind his back, and forcing him to release his grip on my hair.  I register he is wearing a dark hooded sweatshirt and dark pants before I kick him and race to the door.

Where the hell is Saeyoung?!

Heavy hands grab my shoulder, spinning me around and slamming me into the wall with a violent thud. My head cracks on the wall and my vision blurs for a moment. One of his hands grabs my throat; the hand is large enough to easily choke me, and I feel the pressure of his grip tighten as I try to focus on him. At first, I try to twist his arm to break that hold, but he is much stronger than I am.

Instead I attempt to jam my palm into his nose, but my arm is restrained, and pinned to the wall beside my head. His body is pressed against mine so closely I cannot kick or thrash about. There is a flash of familiarity that blinds me for a moment; it is said that scent is the strongest trigger for memory.

My eyes finally focus on the attacker as he looks up to meet my gaze. The hood slides from his face to my utter shock, and reveals familiar amber eyes.

“Saeyoung?!” I choke, feeling his grip maintain the pressure on my throat and wrist.

“Do you get it yet?” He whispers in a hoarse voice. My eyes water and I stop struggling. I don’t understand what is going on. His face is devoid of emotion, his glasses are missing, and all I can do is stare into his eyes. All I see is my reflection, panting, wide eyed.

“DO YOU GET IT!?” He yells at me, slamming my wrist into the wall with a loud clap. The sting of pain resonates through my bones and I wince. He is terrifying. What have I done?

Suddenly his face contorts into something very different; it is pain, sorrow, and…almost regret? The pressure on my throat is immediately released, and I inhale, coughing, tears falling down my cheeks.

What did I do?

“You…can’t even…” He chokes, his eyes closing and he rubs his eyes with the released hand. When he focuses on me again he looks like he is in tears. “You weren’t even afraid…” he whispers and backs away with a start, shaking his head, running his hands through his hair.

“What is going on?” I ask finally, after my dizziness recedes. “Saeyoung?”

He holds up his hands as if to keep me at bay.

I watch him pace deep in thought; he removes his dark sweatshirt to expose the bright yellow tee shirt he was wearing earlier, and discarding it on the floor. His brows are knitted together in frustration and contemplation, but he remains silent.

Although my legs are a bit wobbly, I stand, no longer leaning on the wall, and take a few steps closer to him.

“How can you get near me after that?!” he growls, stopping dead in his tracks. “How can you just throw your own life around like it means nothing? Do you allow everyone to do what they want with you?”

Why is he angry? He’s the one that attacked me!

“Why do I need to excuse my actions all of a sudden?” I spit back at him defensively. “Where is this all coming from anyway? How is this my fault? How is this throwing my life around?”

His eyes are dark and he rushes toward me again, pinning me against the wall. “So you won’t fight back if I just overpower you then?” He has my arms pinned over my head with one hand, his body pressed against mine.

If this was any other day, my body would be screaming in happiness.

I kick at him, try to pull my arms from his grip. My shoulder burns with the unexpected use. His spare hand snakes up my side, running up the thin fabric of the shirt. “Why are you doing this?” I ask finally.

“Because, you don’t seem to understand.” His eyes soften a little, but his grip remains the same. “You can’t just throw yourself away anymore…”

“I have no say as to how I live? Funny, I’ve done fairly well for myself so far.” I answer coldly, watching his eyes as they stare into mine.

“Sure, getting shot twice, destroying property, getting caught up in a huge ridiculous plot…”

I sigh, “yeah, but what about the lives I saved? What about the property and livelihood I salvaged? Seems like a pretty fair trade to me.”

His eyes bored into mine. “What is the point of saving my life exactly, if you don’t even get to see it?” Suddenly his hands lose their strength and my arms fall to my sides.

The somewhat blank space in my thoughts, suddenly fill with too much noise. I couldn’t understand anything I was thinking. His arms are still caging me against the wall, and his body is still hot and pressed against mine, but the strength that once forced me to submission is gone.

“Because I am selfish and wanted you to live, happy and healthy, even at the expense of my own,” I answer finally with a shaky exhale. He is so close. How did I not notice before now?

“But why?” he prodded. “Why would you want that? I want to hear you say it, because right now I—“ his eyes are filled with so much emotion as he speaks. My body moves without a thought or any real conscious control.

One hand grabs his collar and pulls him down. His lips crash into mine with numbing force. He doesn’t pull away, and he doesn’t hesitate. His free hand once again grabs my wrists, pinning them to the wall above my head, the other snaking around my waist, pulling my midsection into his. His hand follows down my lower back to my butt, and even with my assault on his lips, I can hear him moan when he notices that, in my hurry to dress, I never put on underwear.

As suddenly as it began, he pulls away, his eyes sparkling and his lips pink and swollen. He releases my arms, and backs away a little. The blush on his cheeks is as obvious as the lust in his eyes, and I struggle to get my breathing back to normal.

“I…I just can’t win against you,” his whisper is hardly audible over the rain, but the husky and unmistakably longing tone are felt regardless. I can feel his breath, even several feet away, as if he is taking in air for the very first time. His body--still clad in a tee shirt and dark pants--hang loosely, but you can still see his body simultaneously relaxed and tensing at the same time. It is a paradox that unless you see it, could not think it believable. His beautiful eyes go from smiling to pensive, but always a lingering sense of want.

How many times have I seen this? How many times do I get until…

After tonight, I don’t know if I’d ever get the chance to see him again. When the message comes to meet that evil woman, I must go; I cannot allow this beautiful broken man to fall under her captivity. I don’t dare think what MC could possibly do to him, or the others, if I do not show.

“Stay,” I say, walking toward him. “Stay with me tonight.”

 Saeyoung doesn’t move, nor does he speak. His eyes follow me as I make my way toward him. “Please, just for tonight, I just…I need you. I need to feel you, I need to know that you—“

I don’t get to finish that thought.

The distance between us is closed faster than I could register. One warm hand cups my cheek and jaw, drawing me in to a deep, slow kiss. His lips are not eager, they are not rushed or panicked; slowly he nudges my lips apart and his tongue slips in to play with mine. My hands grip onto his shirt, and I press into him.

Slowly his lips move from mine, to my neck and down further to my shoulder, and my head leans back to offer more of my burning skin to him. His lips instead leave my skin and I can feel his feverish breath on my ear.

“I know a lot of things, Sorei; I know the childhood nickname of the president of the United States, or the bank routing number to the savings account of the biggest computer CEO’s eldest kid. But...but you…” his finger trails down my neck, and he pushes me backwards, slowly inching me until my calves hit the bed. “I want to know—no, I need to know—what tempts you; what makes you lose control.”

If he only knew that he already did, but my few lingering threads of restraint are quickly snapping beneath the heat and pressure of his looming and fantastically overwhelming presence. For once, just once, I let myself disconnect my mind from the torments of my situation, and relinquish my body to his hands.

His body continues to push me back until I sit down with little grace on the mattress, and he continues, his lips still following the lines of my neck and collar, and his hands running courses about my torso and lower back. His body is pressed against mine, and it feels amazing.

My hands wrap around his neck, but stay there only a moment before he takes them both in one of his, and pressing them to the bed above my head. He is trying to gain control. For now, I do not fight him, and I can feel the small curl to his lips as I allow him to hold me down. His spare hand follows the curve of my waist to my hip, where his thumb catches on the waistband of my pants. The tip of his thumb snakes to the inside of the pants, and his hand slowly relishes the skin of my waist and stomach, stopping just short of center.

My skin is tingling like a thousand electrical pulses, and the heat of desire that I had almost certainly forgotten over the unknown years I’ve spent watching Saeyoung. At some point my eyes had closed, and every other sense was ignited as a result. His palm slowly follows the curve of my lower stomach, and further down to my most sensitive parts. I groan, and involuntarily arch my back into him. I can hear him chuckle as he peppers my throat with more languid kisses. 

His palm carefully caresses my womanhood through the thin fabric of my pants. Certainly he can feel the moisture of my arousal seeping through as he handles me. I am thoroughly distracted by the crude groans that seep out of him, as he caresses my sensitive parts.

Slowly he withdraws his hands, only to have them lift my torso off of the bed, and remove my shirt in one swift move. The sudden brush of cold air immediately sends shivers along my skin, and my exposed nipples perk up. His warm lips covet one, while one hand trails down my stomach to the drawstring of my pants.

My breath is little more than uneven panting, dotted with nearly voiceless moans. Each reaction my body involuntarily gives, resonates within him; his moans, his actions, his eyes all shudder, as if he is using all of his will to resist the urges to just dominate me. I feel the slick fabric of my pants slowly edge down my legs, and the heat of his hands trialing them, as if to touch every inch of my skin.

“S-saeyoung,” I whisper as my body cranes against him. I can’t think, even if I wanted to try I could not.

“Shh…m…lo…” I hear the broken words between the soft urgency of his lips following the same trail his hands had. “I need…everything…” he continues to kiss down my thighs, and my stomach curls into glorious knots beneath him.

A satisfied groan escapes his lips when he is but an inch from my stimulated clitoris. The vibration is enough to force a moan from my lips, and his hands leave my skin to release the button of his pants.

My eyes flutter open in time to see Saeyoung fling his pants off the bed. I reach up to remove his shirt, and he catches my hand, kissing the middle finger. “Please, if you touch me now…I won’t last.” He smiles and pulls the shirt over his head.

I never understood how his body could look so good after who knows how long of being confined to a desk. His shoulders, chest, even his stomach are well defined, despite the diet of chips and soda. A sheen of sweat glistens in the dim light, and he smiles down at me watching him.

I want to touch him so badly, but I want him to touch me more. The more his hands discover, the more he’ll remember. As selfish as it is, I want him to remember me, just a little. I want…

Wanting is such a useless thing; selfish, foolish, and utterly beautiful.

His lips find mine and the pressure of his body slowly anchors me to the mattress. His hardened desire pulses just out of range of my wanting sex, and I have to resist the urge to writhe under him enough to make contact. He kisses me with such restrained passion that I whimper against his lips, and my arms wrap around him, hoping the action will bring him just a little closer.

I want to feel him.

“Usually…I am much more sadistic…but with you,” his hoarse whisper sends currents of shivers down my body, and my body arcs into him. His hips start to grind into me, and he pulls back just as his member slides along my slick folds. “Sorei…”

In one move, his lips seal mine, and my aching sex is finally filled, as he thrusts into me. The noise that we both make is unlike any I know of; it was an expression of pure and unhindered pleasure.  My nails dig into his back with his first experimental thrusts, his lips rest panting on my neck; it is as if he has enough strength to hold back and be gentle, or to hold his head up.

It doesn’t take long to find a rhythm that I match with my own gyration. My core tightens and I can feel every twitch, each pulse, and the shivers of his manhood. He kisses my neck, my cheek, my lips, my eyes, and all the while maintaining a pace that brings me to the breaking point faster than I had expected.

“S-say…young,” I manage to choke just as I feel myself lose control and roll into a blindingly beautiful release. I feel every muscle tense and release, every ounce of my blood pulses around my body, and I am sure that some obscene noise must have been screamed from my lungs. Seeing stars doesn’t come close; this is what it means to be in bliss. This is heaven.

“Sorei…” he kisses me with one struggling thrust, and I feel him grip the sheets by my head, as the swell of pressure from my lover’s desire builds to its final extreme. “I…can’t…”

His orgasm makes him thrust with such recklessness that I wonder for a brief moment if I could be bruised afterword. His breaths are caught between uttered whispers of my name, praises to god and the shaking of his body, as he comes down from his release.

My mind clears after a few minutes. He is barely bracing himself on his forearms, his member slowly softening within me and sliding out with the seeping fluids of our joining. I stroke his back softly, as his breathing regulates. I want to stay like this.

Why do I have to go?

With what little motivation he can muster, he rolls over to my side, his eyes closed and a peaceful smile plastered on his blushed lips. In the same movement he pulls me close to him, and wraps his arm around my waist. Tears start to form in my eyes. This moment is the meaning of love; it is the definition of beauty.

“I love you, Saeyoung.” The whisper comes from my heart before I can stop my lips from moving. I am glad my back is against his chest, as he can’t see the tears that are falling down to the pillow below my head.

“I know.” He whispers back, kissing the top of my head and pulling me even closer, in some attempt to prevent me from ever leaving. I wonder if he somehow knows what I must do. “I love you, Sorei. I think…I think I always did.”

It takes a considerable amount of effort to resist breaking down there, and soon his breathing is deep and regular, and the strength of his arms is nothing but dead weight. He feels so much at peace.

On the night stand, my phone flares to life. As carefully as I can, I reach for it, and my breath catches in my throat.

“Say your goodbyes tonight. Be here tomorrow by 8 am.” A picture of a computer with a countdown, and a confirmation button is in the back of the text, and next is a set of coordinates.

I sob silently until the sun starts to peek through the clouds and spin ribbons of golden rays into my room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish to give my continued thanks and appreciation for everyone still following this fic. I should have the next chapter out sometime next week, and I hope to have the final chapter up shortly after.   
> Just a warning, the next chapter will have some trigger warnings, because MC is a ruthless and evil wench in this story, so be warned ahead of time, shit gets a little dark next chapter. Hopefully it won't be too bad, and I did try to keep it tamed down.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is darker than what I have written before. If violence is a trigger for you, please don't read this chapter, and skip to the end; I'll leave a summary at the bottom.

Slipping out of bed was the most difficult thing I have ever done, and that includes getting shot. I don’t bother washing up, or even brushing my hair. I put on the clothes I had worn yesterday and left as silently as I possibly could.

I couldn’t bring myself to look at him as I closed my bedroom door, silencing the steady breathing of my sleeping lover. I wonder if he ever slept so peacefully. He should go to the party today like nothing has changed; like I will be there and everything is wonderful in his life for the first time.

He probably will never do so again.

I write the address on a slip of paper and put it in my pocket. I can’t let them follow me, not this time. I clear my phone data, reset it, before smashing it under my heel, and dropping it in a bowl of water. If that doesn’t do it, then I hope he is smart enough to let it go.

I put my boots on by the door, and take one last look around the living room. I would have liked to see what happens next; would we date like normal people, perhaps marry in a beautiful Catholic church somewhere, and have little blonde and redheaded children running around, chasing after the robot dog and arguing with the mechano-cat…

Saeran steps out from the hallway, and looks at me with a sorry expression. He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t need to. “Make sure he gets to the party, like we were supposed to. Tell him I’ll go later, make up some excuse.” I tell the brother with what confidence I can muster. “If he doesn’t…”

He nods and a small wave of relief washes over me. I don’t know what is going to happen to me. “Thank you.” I whisper before stepping out into the chilly morning.

I don’t try to remember the route the taxi makes. When it finally comes to a stop in front of a large skyscraper, I hand the driver the largest bill in my wallet and leave without getting the change. Hopefully he could use it for something good.

There are suspicious people idly watching me enter the building. I can feel their eyes on me as I approach the sparkling glass doors. I don’t dare look at them, or look for them, but I can’t resist the urge to writhe in discomfort under their gazes.

I don’t know what is in this building; I follow the signs with somber determination to the elevator. Three men in business suits follow me, and none of them press a floor button.

They must be…with her.

My eyes search the floor for some clue. I don’t know what else to do. Have I really given up this time? Is this going to end it? Will she leave them alone? Will she actually kill me to ‘win’ this stupid game? Does she know she has to take my life now?

It isn’t a game anymore; these are people, I am a person. We are not pawns. I feel, I think, and I am human. There is no point in winning, there is only survival now.

Tears are trying to scrape by my resolve. I see Saeyoung’s smiling face, I still feel his lips, his touch, and the sound of his voice. I never got the chance to get close to Zen or see that performance with Jaehee. I never saw Yoosung graduate, and Jumin never was able to invite me to wine and introduce me to Elizabeth the 3rd. I will never attend the party, or play pranks on Saeran, or teach Saeyoung how to make ice cream. There is no more time.

The elevator comes to a soft halt and the doors open much too slowly. The men step out and stand on either side of the door, obviously waiting for me to exit. In front of me, down the hall a little bit, is one fancy glass door. For one brief moment I wonder how far I could make it before made good on her threats.

I just can’t let that happen.

God, I sound like V.

Somehow that thought creeps to mind.

Reluctantly I step out and immediately one of the men throws a black fabric bag over my head, while another zip-ties my hands behind my back. I don’t resist, but that doesn’t stop them from roughly tossing me toward the solitary door.

I am thrown into the room with enough force to knock the air out of me. I inhale the fabric and cough as it dries my mouth and throat out. I am lifted with little grace and dragged along, passing several doors by the sound of them opening.

I feel my scars pull and tug and the flesh burns as my shoulders are twisted out of socket by the way they drag me by the elbows. I try to scramble to my feet at every pause, but their roughness knocks me over as soon as I start to find my feet.

“Ah, our guest has arrived!”

Her voice echoes off the floor, along with the click of stiletto heels on marble floors.

“She wasn’t any trouble, I hope?”

“No ma’am,” One of the men answers immediately. She laughs and I hear her walk away. I am dropped on my front and my face makes a hard crack on the cold floor. I feel the blood seeping from my nose, and my cheek stings.

“Knock her out, and take her to her new room,” MC orders as I hear her sit in a leather chair. “And do be gentle, wouldn’t want our guest to be too uncomfortable.” Her laugh is mocking and I brace for the impact, thinking that I’ll be hit over the head. It would be quickest

Instead I feel a sharp sting on the left side of my neck, and a shilling sensation course through my veins. “Hah, boss, looks like someone’s been busy. She’s a whore, like you said,” One of the men said.

My head is getting fuzzy. I can’t keep my eyes open, much less looking forward. My muscles are no longer answering to my orders, and it sounds like I am underwater. “She is a whore; I don’t doubt she’s managed to bed every one of the RFA members by now.”

“I…not…” I try but I bite my tongue and can no longer feel my face. They drugged me. Of course they would.

“Hush now, Sorei, be a good girl and do as you’re supposed to, for once in your pitiful life,” MC’s voice sounds so distant.

Somehow, despite the pain in my face and the burning in my shoulder, the only thing I can think of is Saeyoung. As my mind finally goes black, I pray to whatever god is listening to take care of him, because I am doing the only thing I can.

~~

_The party._

_I can see it clearly, as if I am actually there!_

_Glowing golden lights, sparkling from chandeliers hanging from decorated vaulted ceilings, tables with white linens, crystal champagne flutes filled with imported Champagne, fancy hors d’oeuvrs on silver trays…_

_The magician is there. He’s dressed in a tux, but I can still spot his unusual hair. He smiles in my direction; he looks devastated, and forcing the smile to comfort me. He walks around, mingling and blending into the guests as best as he could. I quickly lose sight of him. Behind him, I see Jaehee and Jumin welcoming guests. The line outside is tremendous. I am surprised so many were able to make it on short notice._

_“V, have you seen Sorei?” Saeyoung’s voice asks nearby. I turn and see him, vest, white shirt, his hair combed and he’s even wearing a tie. V finishes looking at his phone with a worried look on his face._

_“No, I thought she was with you.” The photographer stops to shake a hand and looks at my lover with concern. “Did she not come with you?”_

_Saeyoung is forcing a smile, and laughs nervously. “Maybe she had to get her dress? Yeah, that’s it. Saeran said she went out early, and said she’d be here…”_

_V nods, but I can tell he is worried. Please, please don’t do anything!_

_Zen shows up with an entourage of people following him, snapping pictures and laughing, asking questions and showering the actor with attention. Jaehee turns and looks like she is shooting lasers from her eyes for a moment, before she is forced to continue checking guests in._

_Saeyoung is pacing along the wall behind the tables. Even in this dream state I am crying, watching him torment himself. Please stop, my love, please stop!_

_The party goes on without a hitch; the RFA raises more than their goal in funds and everyone is shuffled out. At some point, word spread within the members that I was absent, and the attitude changed among them all. At first I wondered if they doubted my fidelity to the group, and to Saeyoung._

_“No, something is wrong…” Saeyoung mutters to himself as the last guests leave. “Jumin!”_

_“I have had my security check the building, they have not seen her.” Jumin announces, releasing his tie a little. “Nor has there been any sight of MC.”_

_“This isn’t right,” Yoosung says, teary eyed. Why is he so innocent? “She promised she’d come. She’s different, she wouldn’t just…”_

_“No, she wouldn’t.” Zen adds. “You’re right, something smells wrong.”_

_“Mr. Han, sir. There seems to have been more guests than we have reserved.” Jaehee says, showing him the list. “Caterers say there were 87 people that ate, when we only invited 80.”_

_“Are you certain?” V asks taking the list and looking it over._

_“I am. Mr. Han was specific on making the number an even one. Seven people got past security somehow.” Jaehee sighs. “They left before security could locate them, and I don’t remember anyone looking out of place.’_

_Saeyoung is silent, watching his laptop with predatory focus. The group continues to talk, and Jumin barks orders for the security team to check the building again. “She’s….she isn’t here.” Saeyoung says finally._

_Everyone stops, and with looks of resignation sit with Saeyoung. “What happened?” Zen asked._

_“Nothing happened!” Saeyoung yells in frustration, slamming his laptop down and rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses. “Everything was good, great even! For once, everything was…was…”_

_“Saeyoung.”_

_Everyone turns to the door at once and Saeran is there, hands hiding in his hoodie pocket. His expressionless face is covered in sweat and he walks over steadily. “Saeyoung, we need to get out of here. Now.”_

_Seven starts to argue when one of the guards comes back announcing they found a suspicious bag by some of the main structural supports, and they suspected it to be explosives._

_The world fades to grey as they are hurried from the building, the sound of their voices mixing into a jumbled mix of white noise and static._

It is cold.

I shiver against the cold surface along my back. I am hanging by my wrists, my back against a wall, and my feet just barely touching the damp ground. My eyes are swollen, but I can open one enough to see I am naked and strung up like a bird. The room is silent, save for some distant whisper of air that circulates the abnormally cold draft. It takes effort to lift my head, and my neck is sore and stiff beyond belief.

A dungeon. I am in a dungeon. Stone floor, no interior walls, and no bars really; just me, a damp stone floor and a couple hanging light bulbs that flicker from time to time.

How long have I been down here?

My stomach is empty, but too bruised and beaten to want for food. My head throbs when a small window comes into view with blinding sunlight. It is maybe 8 or so now; if I am not mistaken I have been away at least 24 hours.

I wonder if the wizard let me see the party to give me hope. Please don’t do anything stupid, guys. I don’t want you hurt! Can’t you see that? I shouldn’t even BE here, so please, just forget me and live…

Since I am alive, then surely MC must not know that she has not yet won. It gives me time.

Time for what?

I pull at the chains with what strength I have in my arms. They are secured far better than my meager strength could hope to conquer.  My hands are growing numb and I am almost adjusted to the perpetual pain my shoulders. My toes only barely touch the floor, and the wall behind me is solid. The bindings at my wrists are barely loose enough to wiggle in, but the weight of my body is starting to make the metal cuffs dig into my skin.

Somewhere out of view a door swings open with a loud whine. The hushed voices of several men echo through the nearly empty space. They surround me with nefarious grins, pointing and whispering to each other. I plaster the most deadpan look on my face that I could muster, and stare back. They laugh at my lack of fear. They taunt me for a long time, poking and prodding at my nakedness, slapping me, threatening to take advantage of their bosses absence to do what they will to the “stupid white girl”.

My mind screams, but somehow I maintain my look of indifference. My will is stronger than theirs; they can do what they want to this body, but my mind is not going to break!

It can’t.

They spend the better part of the day taking turns beating me with different tools they brought with them. I am taken down from my hook on the wall, and thrown down, beaten with whips, chains, kicked, smacked around, stepped on till the bones in my hand crunched…

But I bit back the cries of pain. The tears are another story. Once they started, it only seemed to cheer them on; the more I did not cry out or beg for mercy, the more relentless they became.

I must have blacked out, because when I remember anything again, the sky is dark, and the room is pitch black. I try to call out in a whisper, listening to any sound to indicate that I was not alone.

I was.

Only then did I allow myself to cry.

If she has cameras in here, then so be it; watch me cry through swollen eyes and broken body. Watch me relive every tender moment that led to this, and pray in my mind that the suffering I am enduring is working.

Then, MC, you can watch me dry my tears, straighten my back, and wait. You can watch that I don’t break. You won’t see me beg. You won’t watch me fall.

I am thirsty by the time my tears have finished. I am tired from the pain, and I stink. They had literally beaten the shit out of me, and I could still smell it on my body. I suppose it is not the worst that could happen.

The door opens again, and a woman with crazed eyes comes down, holding a large hose. The lights turn on, and I am temporarily blinded by the sudden light, no matter how dim. She hoses down the floor, then upon seeing me, her lips curl into a hateful grin, and she points the hose at me. I can only just close my eyes and turn away by the time the blast assaults me. The water is freezing cold and it makes my skin burn with the pressure; it is as if my skin is being ripped off.

“That’s quite enough,” MC’s voice rings out from the door and the woman stops the water, and leaves through the same door. “Well, Sorei, does my hospitality suit you? Seems like you are looking…well.” She laughs as she pokes the red scar on my shoulder, where the tissue is agitated and angry looking. I only watch her as she paces the floor in front of me. Her pencil skirt keeps her gait dainty, and her arms are folded in front of her in mock thoughtfulness. “It seems that the party went without a hitch, isn’t that swell? I am sure they have realized by now that you abandoned them.”

I stare angrily, but hold back the desire to scream. She wants a reaction; she needs to feel she’s won. I won’t give her that pleasure. She laughs watching the determination in my face. I suppose she could see it despite the swelling and bruising of my face, and the watered down rusty blood that still stuck to my face and body.

“By now, they probably have written you off as a money leech. Poor Saeyoung, he’s probably heartbroken and sobbing away in his stupid childish house with his mentally unstable brother. Maybe he’ll end up the same? Maybe his brain will finally break!” she laughs as she stops in front of me. I had not noticed the syringe in her hand until she stops; inside is a milky shimmering liquid. “I wonder if they are even bothering to look for you? I know you destroyed that phone of yours, and they didn’t find the bombs at their houses, so clearly you didn’t tell them.”

Bombs…at their homes…

I swallow down the dry lump in my throat. How could she do that to them? I thought she loved them, and wanted to be loved?

“Oh, but don’t worry, they won’t find you here either,” She laughs waving the needle around haphazardly. “You probably guessed you’re not in the same location I had you go to, right? And this clearly isn’t that lame, rundown shack Mint Eye. By now your trail is all but evaporated.”

How long has it been?

Something itches in my thoughts. I may be off in my timeline. What if she drugged me at first? Or if those men did it later? Who knows how long I’ve been captive for?

“You get it, don’t you? They are not looking for you.” She stops, and jabs the needle into my stomach. I had not noticed the emptiness of it, or the protruding pelvis bones that had not been there before. “And soon, you’ll do everything I tell you, and you’ll watch me win.”

The liquid burns; my stomach feels like it is burning in gasoline and the flames of the sun. I scream, but the sound is like sandpaper on metal; my throat is too dry, my body is too weak. I am so tired.

I am sweating, curling from the pain like a flower petal twisting from the heat of a flame. Tears are falling down my cheeks and I can hear MC laugh quietly, watching as I burn alive.

“How is it? I made it just for you. I figured you wouldn’t drink it like Saeran did, or Rika for that matter. Had to mix it up special. Don’t you feel loved?” MC tosses the thing to the side.

I felt loved, but not because of you. I felt loved when Saeyoung held me, when he got angry when I was reckless, when he kissed me, when he touched me, when he just looked at me! It is that love that I think about as my body slowly shuts down with fever.

The headache that follows is unlike any I have ever had; the pain is not like any sensation I could put into words. But, in this state, the tangle of memories is knocked free. In a landslide of thoughts, lost moments, and broken time, I remember.

How many times have I lived…

How many times did I fix this world so YOU could love them?

“Gaaaah!” I scream as the medicine attacks my stomach. My head falls to my chest, and I can just barely see MC sit in a chair in front of me. “I…will…not…”

“Oh, she yet speaks! You are very wrong, but go on, declare your defiance. I HAVE WON!” She roars. The sound is deafening.

My mind is mixing, becoming clouded like a dream; it is the medicine and the fever. Paranoid thoughts entwine with memories of the resets. He knew then, Saeyoung knew me. I messed up then, I should have given up! I am useless, I can’t…I can’t…I failed! I saved Zen, but he knew then, oh yes, he must have! Then Jaehee, and Yoosung, they must have known, they were taking it too well to believe me in totality. They were just being nice! Jumin probably never gave up that thought that I was a joke, that I was a fake! I failed!

Something gets her attention and she stands coming up to me. “You will break, or you will die.” She says and slaps me across the face. I hardly feel it, I can barely see her as the lights turn out and the door slams shut.

I am sorry Saeyoung.

I wanted so badly to give you the life you want. No, the life you deserve. I wanted to love you.

It is getting dark in my head. You can start over, you and Saeran. One way or another, you will move on. Either she will fade away, or I will, and it will be as if we never met. I am sorry, so sorry, please forgive me, my love, my God Seven…

Tell the others I was sorry I didn’t pan out. I wanted to, really I did…

~~

_Muffled yelling, thunderous noises and screams of fear break the lonely silence of my empty thoughts. My body is moved, but I can’t quite tell how. Maybe someone found me? Maybe I wasn’t forgotten? How long has it been? My stomach hurts, but I can’t eat now if I wanted to; I feel sick. I am thirsty. I feel like a dried husk, but at least I still feel. I feel so heavy, and my mind seems totally disconnected from my body. Like I’m floating in black oil, or tar, the voices seem so far, so strangely warped and I can only just feel being moved._

_But I am still alive…I think._

_“It is over, it is alright now.” The wizard’s voice breaks through the static and behind my closed eyelids I see him smiling. “It is alright. You won. You proved a stronger match than she gave credit for. Your friends are waiting for you; they spent many sleepless nights looking. Congratulations, and I hope that your life is as wonderful as you had desired.”_

_But what about MC?_

_"You will never see her again. Do not worry, she no longer will be able to hurt anyone again. The rules were set and she knew the consequences when she agreed; she no longer exists." The wizard replies calmly and I feel a heavy breath leave my lungs, as if I had been holding it for far too long._

“NO! I will not stay behind! I am going with her!”

Saeyoung? I want to see his face. Please stop worrying, I am alive. Stop crying, I can feel you crying.

“Sorei, god, Sorei, what…no….please, please come back,” Saeyoung pleads with me. “Please, I need you. Please…” his voice is little more than a whimper that vibrates through me. Saeyoung, Saeyoung I am alive! I am here!

I open my eyes somehow. Through the blurred surroundings I see my beloved; his face is covered in dirt and black smudges. Face paint? He’s in all black, clinging to me with every ounce of his strength. He lays me out on a stretcher, and covers me with blanket as EMT’s put on an oxygen mask and a blood pressure cuff. He’s shouting to others, directing people. I hear him tell Vanderwood to make sure MC is found, and all of the gang members are captured. There’s movement around me, people rushing, and I can smell gunpowder.

Something made him look down at me, and his eyes overflow with tears. His nose is red, and his amber eyes are swollen. “I am sorry, Sorei. I am so sorry.” He holds onto my hand, now very thin and frail. “I took too long, I am so sorry.” I want to tell him it is okay. I want to tell him I chose this to save him. But my strength is quickly funneling away.

“I…I won.” I whisper before I pass out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone! I want to thank everyone for making me love writing this year. Sorry I couldn't get this finished up by the holiday, but life got a bit carried away.
> 
> For those of you who didn't read this due to triggers, here's the gist of the chapter: Sorei is captured by MC after trading her life for the RFA, tortured, drugged, and almost gives up (aka dies), until a secret security team break in and arrest everyone, saving her. However, MC is nowhere to be found, and Sorei ends the chapter loosing consciousness after realizing she has beat MC.
> 
> Again, thank you to everyone who follows my works, and I hope you have a splendid holiday!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to give a huge thank you to the people who liked this work enough to continue reading it. In particular, thanks to those lovelies that regularly chatted with me and gave me motivation to finish it. Without you guys I would never have picked this series up again, but thanks to you I was able to. 
> 
> Here is the final installment for your enjoyment. Thank you all again, and I hope to continue to write works worthy of your appreciation.   
> <3

“Who would have thought this spa was so close by?” I asked with a contented sigh as an esthetician applied the mud mask to my face. I sneak a peek to my right, where Jaehee is breathing evenly in her robe, her face coated in the mud mask, and cucumber slices on her eyes.

“I told you, this is the best. The manager was so grateful for bringing in more customers, that he gave me the passes today!” Zen chimed in from across the room. Even with the mask on, the women in the room were fawning over him silently. I had to struggle to keep from giggling. “And after coming along for the after party with my new show, you deserve a thank you. That was rough, even for me.”

I can’t help but laugh a little. “Very true, but the show really was worth it.”

“Well, you deserve a relaxing day, today Sorei,” Jaehee finally says, shifting a little. I wonder if she is actually comfortable. “I think that you should be allowed a good birthday for all you’ve done.”

I also wonder how she managed to get the whole day off work. I hope Jumin isn’t working her tonight.

“She already blew it?” Zen laughs, and the women all swoon at the sound. I am not immune, but my heart is already stolen away. “Jaehee, you need to work on the concept of ‘surprise’ in ‘surprise party’.”

I laugh, feeling the mask squish and crack around my face. “It wasn’t her fault, it kinda slipped out and I figured it out on my own.”

We relax, talking idly about everything and nothing, as technicians begin to massage warm oil into our hands and feet.

~

Zen decides to go home for the afternoon to get ready for the party that night, and Jaehee comes with me to meet up with Jumin, who has reserved a rather nice French restaurant for early dinner. She had to help me pick out an appropriate dress to wear, as I had obviously never owned anything of that caliber. She left me outside of the restaurant in favor of a café a few doors down.

“You are looking well, Sorei.” Jumin greets with a smile. V is there as well, and I can’t help but notice the sunglasses he is wearing indoors.

“Thank you, Jumin. And thank you for taking me to this wonderful place today.” I look around at the luxurious back room, somewhere obviously that VIPs are seated at to avoid the public eye. “And V too! What a surprise! What about your surgeries?”

“Ah, I thought you’d ask.” He chuckles nervously. “I leave for Switzerland in two days to meet with the best in the field. I will be staying there for some time after recovery. I plan on making it a photo trip as well, so we have some new materials for the next auction.”

“Oh I am so glad! You have been so down lately, it will be wonderful to have you back to normal,” I clap excitedly as the first plates are brought to the table. It looks like art, and I am loathe to even nibble at it. “I was thinking I should pick up some of my own hobbies again; I got some new brushes and paint, last week.”

“Oh, you paint?” V is suddenly interested and a peaceful smile plays on his lips. “I was unaware.”

I laugh wholeheartedly and take a bite of food. “I was too! I only just remembered after I went to get paint to redo my office.”

It was true; memory was still blotchy at points. Things that I had loved and cherished were slowly trickling back; names and places still escaped me. I could remember that I had family once, and that they were no longer around, but that was it. I knew I wasn’t from South Korea, as was blatantly obvious by my appearance, but somewhere in the United States. However, despite this, between Saeran, Saeyoung, and me, we never could track down _who_ I was.

So I recreated myself from what pieces I could find. I made a mosaic of memories, glued together in beautiful new patterns, and waited till it set hard, so that even the hardest storm would be strained to wear me down.

Poetic right?

“Are you getting a hang of the new software Seven created?” Jumin asks after a pause in our art discussion.

“Ah, yes. There are some kinks; all new programs have them. It is much easier to correspond on the laptop, compared to the phone, and I can keep a more accurate account of other aspects too. We have managed to link spreadsheets of expenses, caterers, vendors, venues, even small details like how much parking and the ‘flashiness’ of the building, based on the clientele we invite.”

“Impressive. I should ask Seven to allow you to work with me; I think your ingenuity would benefit C&R.” Jumin takes a sip of wine, and I know that was one of the greatest compliments he is able to provide me.

“Thank you Jumin, I would be honored.” I smile and sip at my wine as the next course is brought out.

~

“Seven, can I come home now?” I ask over the phone with feigned poutiness in my voice. I really had wanted to see him today, but he pretty much shooed me out of the house as soon as breakfast was finished (Saeran, as it turns out, is very good at preparing western breakfasts). 

Although nobody knew when my birthday actually as, Saeyoung and Saeran had decided to make it January 1st. Saeran explained that it was something along the lines of a ‘new start’ for me, new year, new me, something like that. I didn’t complain; it was wonderful that he had put that much thought into it.

“Almost, if you take the slow train, you should be fine.” He is trying to hide the smile in his voice, and muffle the voices of the other RFA members in the background. “I uh, should be done with…my work…by the time you get here.”

“Oh, I don’t want to ruin your work, my lovely god Seven.” I laugh. “Don’t worry, I’ll do some shopping and take a later train to the station. Will you pick me up?”

“I might have Saeran get you. He has wanted to drive today.” Saeyoung says, muffling the receiver and hollering some directions to someone else in the room. “Ok, I gotta go, see you in a couple hours! Muah!”

His exaggerated kissy noise makes my evening.  The cold air is chilling me as I wave goodbye to Driver Kim after dropping me off at a large mall near the station. Jumin and V had both gifted me several gift cards to some of the higher end stores here, as if it was nothing; I will never understand that kind of money. Yoosung was waiting at the entrance of the mall, all bundled up in a large puffy jacket. He was waiting for who knows how long, and I knew it was because Saeyoung had told him to buy him time. But hey, I can’t complain.

The mall was relatively empty, being just before supper time on New Year’s Day. I walked idly down the central corridor, thinking about nothing in particular and talking with Yoosung about his winter break, until I saw a rather beautiful ring at a high end jewelry counter. After the events this previous summer, I had known for sure that I was well in and beyond in love with Saeyoung; I think he realized then too, that I would do anything for him, and that meant die for him. He didn’t like that idea one bit, and I remember him scolding me one night after a rather emotional discussion in the hospital. The diamond and Sapphire ring glitters in the display and I hold my hand up next to it, just to see how it would look against my skin.

Even this ring would be too big for me now.

I had dropped a lot of weight during my stay with MC; that is a blurry memory I have no intention of recalling. I am told I went missing for nearly three weeks, and in that time I was severely dehydrated, emaciated, anemic and not to mention the lacerations and bruises that littered my body. In addition to all of that, I had a severe reaction to that damned potion she forced in me; apparently it shut down several organs while in the hospital, and I was once again on the verge of death.

Saeyoung and Saeran had teamed up with the security team that Jumin has on hand and created something of a highly skilled SWAT team. Saeyoung took lead, and brought on Vanderwood to help. Three of the gang members were killed during the fight, and Saeyoung caught a bullet in the thigh before they found the hidden door that lead to the basement dungeon. He said that I looked like death itself, and he prayed with every ounce of his soul that I wouldn’t be taken away from him.

The doctors had no idea how I could have survived through it all. By all means, I should have died. I probably did. When I woke up, it certainly felt like I had died. However, when I woke up, the only thing I could remember seeing through the post-coma haze, was silver hair and a purple hooded coat, and a strange smile on the lips of a man as he left the recovery room. Only later did I realize that was the last time I would meet the wizard that started this whole journey.

It was two months before I was able to leave. I was again, a wisp of a woman, this time having shrunk down even thinner than before. I didn’t like it, and laughably, neither did Saeyoung; he had me on a strict ‘weight gaining diet’ of at least a bag of Honey Budda chips a day in addition to following the instructions of Jumin’s famed nutritionist.

But that is in the past now. With a sigh, and a joke to Yoosung about that ring being ‘too flashy’, we continue down the corridor.

I did end up finding quite a few things I liked at the mall, and had changed once again, into something more comfortable to take the train home.

“I know Saeyoung said to take the train, but those are really expensive things,” Yoosung said with a sigh, scratching his head nervously and checking his phone. “Maybe we should get a cab instead of taking the train. I don’t think it is a good idea carrying all this on the train.”

I thought a moment about it. Yoosung was carrying three bags, like a gentleman. His face was just as young and bright as I had remembered it, but now he was a bit more mature. I wonder when that happened?

“Your girlfriend won’t be upset that you’re doing this, right?” I asked him.

“Na, she’d be more upset that I didn’t help.” He laughed blushing. “I’d like you to meet her someday. When you are up for it, that is.”

“I would like that Yoosung. But she better not get in the way of your schooling!” He groans but is laughing too, and I take out my phone to check the time. He doesn’t need to know that I did a background check on her when they first started dating.

I resigned to calling a cab, messaged Saeran that he didn’t need to pick me up, and got a can of hot coffee for Yoosung and I from a vending machine as we waited.

The chilly air kept me wide awake, despite being out and about all day. My body still aches and my stomach hurt a bit from my activity levels. I pass a newspaper stand, and read the small title of the small article in the corner.

“Local Cult found Guilty in Kidnapping Case”

The court found all 23 members of the gang, as well as the few cult members they located, guilty of a whole slew of felonies. Thanks to the lawyer that Jumin provided, the whole lot was sent away to prison for a long time, and their assets were to be used for recovering medical and legal fees, plus something of a lump sum for pain and suffering.

I remember I was somewhat surprised that Saeyoung wanted me to go through with the trial. He would be so close to the case at hand, that his identity might be released. He assured me my program still ran, and anything implying his involvement would be swiftly deleted.

MC was never found. In fact, aside from the immediate members of the gang, the RFA, and myself, there was no record of MC having ever existed. All the information we had gathered on the computers did not come up when we looked last, and from what the three of us computer geeks could gather, it wasn’t deleted.

It was as if she never existed to begin with.

Yoosung and I talked about a lot of random little subjects; he told me Rika was recovering well, that the new medications and treatments she was undergoing were making significant progress, and that she sends her best wishes.

She wrote me one letter while I was in the hospital to apologize to me. She said she only just began to remember MC and the history behind the ‘elixir’ that Mint eye used. Rika had been with MC for some time before she was introduced to any of the RFA members; and she remembers MC feeding her this medicine when her depression got bad. She didn’t have any idea that the elixir was making things worse, or that she’d have that extensive lapse of sanity as a result. She had thought MC was a friend, but after the elixir made her dependent on the drugs, she forgot all about MC.

“So, what is it you need to pick up from Saeyoung?” I ask, looking out the frosted window to hide my grin.

“Oh, uh, game stuff. He is giving me…a uh, new video card for my computer.” The blonde boy stutters, and looks down at his phone, typing away.

“That will be cool, did you ever get that rare monster?” I ask.

He nods, obviously trying to not say anything about the party. He didn’t know that Jaehee had accidently let it slip already. I chuckle to myself, and he looks up questioningly. “Oh, nothing. I was just thinking that I am lucky.”

He snorts, and mumbles something about “luck isn’t the word I’d use”, and continues to chat on his phone.

The house is suspiciously dark when we arrive. I still don’t want to ruin Saeyoung’s surprise, so I make small talk as if I don’t notice anything, as I unlock the multiple gates leading into the bunker.

“How do you know how to say that in Arabic? Who learns Arabic?” Yoosong asks in something of disgusted wonder.

“I do, because for some reason he won’t change the language till March.” I laugh and take out my keycard to open the front door. “I told him the next language should be something you can’t learn from language software, but he said that you’d get upset with him if he did that.”

“Awww don’t say that,” he whines as I open the door into the dark hallway.

“Hello?” I call, hanging my jacket in the hall closet. “I guess nobody is home, come in, Yoosung, I’ll go put these in my roo-“

“NO!” Yoosung yelps a little too loudly, “I-I mean I’ll carry them to the living room.” He scoots by me, carrying the remaining bags. I laugh and carry my purse to the living room.

As I step into the room, I see a laser trigger pointed across the entrance. If I hadn’t figured out the sorts of jokes Saeyoung plays, I wouldn’t’ have noticed the tiny red dot on the wall about two inches up from the floor.

“Saeyoung? Saeran? Are you home?” I call, feigning ignorance and stepping directly into the laser.

The lights flip on and everyone yells “Happy Birthday!” while tossing confetti in the air. I laugh, and the suddenness of it did make me jump some.

“Oh my god guys, did you really have to kick me out all day for this!” I laugh picking up a pile of confetti from my shoulder and piling it on Saeyoung’s head like it was totally normal. “This…this is the best present ever.”

“No, wait till you see what Saeran got you, you might change your mind,” Saeyoung smiles, kissing me on the temple. “Nice cover, by the way. I almost believed it.” He whispers in my ear as everyone start’s talking at once.

“Give me some credit!” I laugh as he fits a party hat on my head and Saeran hands me a beer. “You guys are the best, really.” I take a sip and give my guests each a hug before we all sit to talk while Seven handles the cake situation.

“It is a relief to see you smile normally, Sorei.” Jumin adds, sipping a glass of wine from a nearby recliner. “I can see now how much this year has weighed on you.”

“Aww come on, now isn’t the time for that talk!” Zen groans. “So, how old are you gonna be?”

“You never ask a lady her age,” Jaehee quotes, sipping a coffee and smiling at me.

“Old enough to still keep up with Seven and his games,” Saeran adds from his spot by the far wall. Beside him is a small pile of gifts, wrapped in bright paper. “You should SEE the prank wars they have around here.”

“Was that what that silly string residue was on the carpet?” Vanderwood groans as he enters the room from a back hallway.

“Oh! Hi! I didn’t know you’d be here too!” I exclaim hopping up to give the agent a hug. He immediately stiffens up, like he’s never hugged a girl before, before awkwardly patting my back. “There should be drinks in the kitchen. Oh, and thank you for cleaning that up, I was going to get it myself. I hope Saeyoung is going to pay you back for doing that for him.”

“Eh, probably not, but since you were nice about it, I’ll consider it a gift.” He leaves the room, heading to the kitchen.

“You are still okay? You’ve been really active today. Are you sure you don’t need to sit down?” Yoosung asks quietly, looking concerned. “It hasn’t been that long since you were released…”

“I am fine, but thank you.” I sit back down in time to hear Saeyoung clear his throat and start to bellow out “happy birthday” in terrible English. I know he can speak English well, but for some reason he wanted it to sound exceptionally awful.

A tall circular cake is put in my lap; it’s been decorated in dark blue fondant with cartoon stars and a space ship on it. I bet it was supposed to be for a kid’s birthday. I laugh as everyone finishes up the song, and I take one deep breath…

_My deepest wish…I wish everyone will be safe from now on…_

And the candle flickers out.

As I open my eyes, they focus on the candy space ship. I pick it up and look at it close up as the cake is taken away to be cut and served. The thing is about the size of an egg, and something rattles in it as I turn it around looking at it.

“What is that?” Zen asks, “Oh, I’ve seen a candy shop that makes those! They ope—“

“ZEN! Can you help Saeran cut the cake please?” Saeyoung interrupts, putting a hand over the actor’s mouth.  I don’t see his face, but the sound startles me. Zen looks equally startled, before nodding and going toward the kitchen.

“Saeyoung, that was a bit much!” I laugh, making the ship fly around in front of me with a “woooosh” sound.

“Do you play with your food often?” V asks jovially. “Or is that just since you moved in here.”

“It looks like a toy, plus, it IS my birthday.”

The cake is served and presents are brought out with little more thought of the candy space ship.

As the last of my friends leave that evening, I get a hankering for more cake, and stroll barefoot into the kitchen. Saeran had cleaned up most of the dishes, and covered the cake in a stand, leaving the candy space ship inside.

Fork in hand, I take off the cake cover, and the candy rolls off, landing on the hard countertop with a crack. I have a fork full of chocolate cake about an inch from my face when the dim light of the room catches something on the counter. “Aww, the ship broke…” I sigh, eating the bite and picking up the broken pieces of hard candy.

CLINK

The noise immediately draws my attention away from the candy, to a small, glittering ring on the marble countertop. To say my breath stops in my throat is an understatement.

The white gold band is studded with a single Mystic Fire Topaz. The gem sparkles like stars in space. It shimmered in the dim light, and a tear rolls down my cheek.

“Finally figured it out?” Saeyoung says quietly, his arms wrapping around my waist, and his chin resting solidly on my shoulder. He takes his arms away, picks the ring from my fingers, and…

“Oh…my god…” I choke.

He’s down on one knee. “Sorei, I wanted something as special as you were, to show you just how much you mean to me,” he looks at the ring in his fingers and his eyes water behind his glasses. “You became the one person in this world that showed me what it felt like to be truly loved. No one in the universe would have done what you did. I should be good and ask for nothing else…but…”

“Sae-“

“Please let me…finish.” He inhales and takes my hand. “Sorei, please, would you let me be selfish again, and…allow me to make you my wife?”

I kind of forget how to speak at first. My lips are trembling behind my hand; my brain has been totally shut down. “…es”

“Hmm? It is hard to hear you all the way down here,” He laughs nervously, the ring poised just before my finger.

I nod vigorously. “Yes, yes Saeyoung, I would love to be your wife.”

He slips the ring on, and immediately embraces me, kissing me wildly all over my neck and face. He’s crying now too, but these tears were happy tears.

“Awww did I miss it?” Saeran’s voice rings out from the entrance. His phone held up, obviously recording us. “Did you like my present?”

Saeyoung puts me down, a big flushed grin on his face. “I think so. You did a good job.”

“What was your present, Saeran? I am confused.” I ask, picking up the wing of the space ship and popping it in my mouth, the sweet sugar dissolves immediately, and tastes like lavender.

“Oh, he didn’t tell you?” Saeran laughs. It is a nice thing to see. I can get used to the sound. “I made the spaceship. That means, I am giving my brother to you. Better take good care of him, I don’t take returns.”

“Oh Saeran!” I start weeping again, and run up to hug him.

“Hey, hey!” He’s squirming. “I’m not the right brother, go hug that one!”

“Yeah, I don’t like that you hug him too.” Seven scowls playfully. “Now you’ll have to make it up to me. With a playful grin he quickly grabs me, tossing me over his shoulder like nothing. “Sorry brother, gonna have to teach the lady a lesson.”

“Yeah, yeah, I have earplugs this time.” He laughs and takes the phone down. “Congratulations, brother.” He says as he disappears into his room.

“Saeyoung, put me down!” I squirm, but he doesn’t relent.

“Nope, as my fiancé, and as the birthday girl, I need to give you all the loves.” He laughs, tapping my rump and walking toward his room. “Guess I’ll need to move another dresser in here, maybe we should get a new bed?”

With a devilishly sexy grin that I can just feel, he picks me up, laying me gently on the bed. “Soon to be Mrs. Choi…I like that.” He smiles and kisses me. This time he doesn’t hesitate, he doesn’t stop, he doesn’t even pause.

“I love you, Sorei.”

He lowers himself onto me, his hands tracing my stomach. His gaze is adoring, burning, and utterly and totally beautiful. I tighten my hold around his torso, and let my eyes slowly close. “I know. I just hope that space station is going to be big enough for us.”

He kisses my nose, lips, forehead, all while his hands slowly hike up the dress I was wearing. “I will make sure it is. I’ll make sure everything is perfect, from now on.”

I know it will be, and a moment passes where I wonder just how that will be. It was only a moment however, before I loose myself to his caresses.

The only thought that crosses my mind: I will never reset again.


End file.
